Tag Archives: FAQ

Coffee & Conversation: What’s the biggest thing you need to improve?

04 Monday Jan 2021

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My confidence.

I have plenty of arguments with myself where I’m the most confident person I know. Until someone walks by and I shrink down because oh-no-they-might-have-heard-me-talking-to-myself.

I have no confidence. I code based on the people around me often, unless it’s someone I feel completely comfortable with, who has proven to be at least welcoming of who I am. It’s filters. Many, many filters.

The filters are awful. I want to be considered “unapologetically herself” and yet that’s never going to be something people say about me.

I’ve looked up information on how to do better socially and I’ve read that 1) I should smile more because it makes people feel welcome, it makes people think you’re trustworthy and worth knowing. And then I read that 2) people who smile when you meet them are fakers, they’re hiding their disregard for you behind the friendliness and those who only smile when they are truly happy are the ones to trust.

Well, fuck.

And that’s what I find all over the place, concerning even the smallest aspect of my life. So I’m left feeling like there’s nothing I can ever do to be confident because everything I do isn’t right.

Argh.

So I just have to BE confident and then it doesn’t matter if I smile or not because I AM confident.

But I have to BE confident first.

And if you’re not you have to fake it.

And in order to fake it, you have to smile.

Which brings me back round to where I started.

So the answer in how to GET confidence is just to BE confident, which is the most unhelpful advice in existence.

Excuse me while I attempt to be confident and sign my name to these words ;)

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversation: If you had to be handcuffed to someone for 24 hours, who would you want?

16 Monday Nov 2020

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Let’s be honest here: I chose this question because it instantly reminded me of the Trapped Together trope.

There’s a few common ones. There’s the stuck inside in a snowstorm and oh, we need to snuggle to keep warm. There’s also the prison/jail one. The stuck with one another during a zombie apocalypse. The deserted island one I’m kind of partial to.

There’s just something magical about it, isn’t there? Falling in love with someone in a whirlwind of never being able to leave their side.

Except, I’ve seen this show on Big Brother and there isn’t anything magical about having someone turning their back while you’re attempting to go to the bathroom while having performance anxiety. Especially if you have trouble with people hearing anything at all hit the toilet bowl. Lovely.

And what happens if you aren’t right and left handed, coincidentally? If you’ve both right handed and one of you loses their dominant hand for 24 hours?

I guess, if I had to choose, I would probably choose a baby. Sounds awful at first glance, but then at second glance, I can just lug the baby around, won’t get embarrassed about normal bodily functions and while it might be annoying, it wouldn’t be nearly as annoying as having to compromise.

Which makes this a horrible answer, doesn’t it? I’m basically admitting to wanting COMPLETE CONTROL (MHAHAHAHA) during that 24 hours.

If I couldn’t borrow someone’s baby for this endeavor, well then, I guess I’d pick my partner. I would probably end up watching a lot of YouTube I didn’t want to see. That and the potential of having to deal with a long, not very fun bathroom break, will likely be the worst of it. (As long as I get my right hand because otherwise sleeping on our own sides of the bed will be impossible.)

Guess there’s something to be said about being chained to someone you love :)

I also need to come up with more trapped together scenarios, because there must be more fun ones to play with.

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversation: Who have you lost touch with?

09 Monday Nov 2020

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When I first chose this question, I had the idea that the answer would revolve around all the people I’d known in high school or college. All those friends who ended up being circle-friends, ie, the friends you only have because you run in the same circles, chase the same goals, see each other daily. Those people who feel separated from your life as a whole despite being so much a part of your life.

And then, when that section of your life is over, when you graduate, move on, move away, change jobs and the circles change and change again, you find that you never really had those friends in the way you thought you had. They’d never really been there. They’d just be…there, in that physical location.

But then I got to thinking…

It’s been a few years since I last published anything. In that time, my presence on social media has become spotty. My writing has gotten out of sync with my life. I have attempted to put more and more on my plate as if more will somehow be better, when in actuality, more is just making life harder and me less efficient.

I know that the people who focus on one thing at a time are the people who succeed the most, the fastest, the easiest. And yet, despite knowing this, I struggle with it. Maybe it’s in the stars, that I’m to be forever jumping between projects, constantly getting interrupted. Maybe I’m just making poor decision after poor decision, getting further and further behind, feeling lost when I sign back into technology, to sites, to processes that I thought I’d known by heart.

So, in answer to the question, I guess the real answer, the answer that actually reflects the true crux of something meaningful, is me. I’ve lost touch with what I like, why I write, why I work so hard. I’ve lost touch with why I did this in the first place. Continue reading →

Coffee & Conversation: Popcorn or candy at the movie theatre?

12 Monday Oct 2020

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Here’s a silly question for today, especially given our theatres have been closed for quite some time because of world events.

Popcorn, in all its salty, buttery goodness can be incredibly messy. Plus, multiple hands all reaching into a bucket can be a massive dissuader. Course, I could get an individual bag, but that doesn’t stop your hands from being gross or your teeth filled with kernals no amount of tongue-twisting can remove.

Candy, depending on what you choose, can be less messy. Chocolate will still melt in your hand, yet you can tip the box directly into your mouth. I would personally get something like skittles to counteract this, but then you run into the problem of not being able to tell what color/flavor you’re about to eat on account of the darkness. Which is a problem when lime is a digusting, no good, awful flavor.

[I met a gal once who didn’t like the orange ones–we should have been best friends!]

So if I had to choose just one, I would probably go for the candy. It has a longer shelf life so I don’t have to throw it out after the movie.

But really, I mostly don’t eat anything during movie outings because the snacks are too expensive and just make you feel poorly. Here’s to hoping going to the movies becomes a thing again! :)

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversation: Do you think reading an eBook takes away from the experience?

05 Monday Oct 2020

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In terms of the actual reading of the words the author wants to impart, no, I don’t think any electronic book takes away from the experience of reading a book. You still fall into the story (or not), fall in love with the characters (or not), and appreciate the prose (or not). The entire essence of the story is there exactly how the author intends.

However, there are a few pros and cons between hard copy and electronic copy versions of books.

The huge positive of eBooks is that you can carry as many as you want with you wherever you go and the weight never changes. It’s useful and helpful and promotes reading a great deal. Some small positives are the capability of altering text size and font, highlighting passages without affecting the book, and linking directly to sequels and review pages, etc.

The biggest negative of eBooks is memory incapability. And I don’t mean misremembering the contents of the book itself. I’m referring to matching up the book’s contents with the title and author of said book. When reading hard copy, you must physically pick up the book where you see the cover art, the author name and the book title all at once on a constant basis. When using an eBook, there isn’t even a byline or header or footer to give you even a portion of that information to remind you.

I’ve personally had difficulty remembering author and title names of plenty books I only read as eBooks. This is something I’m rectifying by writing down the books I read and that’s incredibly helpful, but it does require a little more effort. I will also buy hard copy versions of books I love because I don’t want the chance that “my” eBook version might be corrupted or taken from me at some point.

So, no, I don’t think reading eBooks take away from the experience. However, I will always buy something I can hold whenever I end up falling in love with a story.

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversation: Would you live in a castle?

02 Friday Oct 2020

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This is probably one of those dumb questions, the kind where everyone already knows the answer. Because, really, who would say no to living in a flipping, bloody castle, right?

Not me :)

However, I have stipulations.

I’m not sure I actually want to clean said castle. I’ll do my bedroom and bathroom and the kitchen, but when you start going beyond that it’s probably entering ridiculous levels. If this fictional castle had a cleaning crew, a gardener (groundskeeper?), and someone else to do all the upkeep, I’m totally game.

I’m also not in the good fortune of being able to pay for said castle. Not even if every relative I knew all died tomorrow and left me every cent they owned, I still wouldn’t be able to pay for a castle. So I’ll need one of those distant, random beneficiaries, the kind who bless you with some amazing inheritance and the castle just comes along for the ride.

I’d also like this castle to exist in a nice part of the world. Weather-wise, I’m talking. Warm, maybe seasons, but, hey, I’m flexible. I just don’t want to live in a drafty, stone monstrosity in the freezing cold, with snow piled up around its base nine tenths of the year.

The castle also must have a library. Otherwise there’s no point living there ;)

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversations: What is your Chinese zodiac sign and is it accurate?

28 Monday Sep 2020

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This is going to give you power over determining my age! Ah well :)

I am the illustrious Wood Rat!

I’m the sneaky, intelligent rodent who rode the Ox and jumped off to steal the coveted first place in the zodiac. I admit that I’m not that sneaky in real life though. The last time I remember consciously deciding to sneak something and actually made an attempt to hide it was when I was drinking chocolate sprinkles directly out of the bottle when I was a small child. I had one on my upper lip the whole time I denied it.

Some of the other aspects of the Rat I do adhere to, such as hoarding, saving money, being creative, being kind, though struggling with social communication. My hoarding is mild–I like having those chocolate cookies in the freezer, saved for a particularly depressing day. Similarly with money–I like having something in the kitty so I’m prepared for that rainy day. I’m generally kind, but struggle with shyness and social anxieties that can come off as me being aloof.

The Wood aspect of being a Rat is supposedly to do with me starting and finishing projects. At first, I thought this wasn’t me. After all, I have about a million projects I want to do. But then, when I began to look at the things I have completed, I realized, that wait a minute, I do complete things. I’ve got stories out on submission for my other pen name, I’ve got a novel finished for March and a ton of other stories available either here on my blog or for sale that proves I finish a lot of stuff. It might take me a little while to get 100k+ novels done, I admit, but every year my kids get older and I get more time.

My given name – Emily – stands for industrious and hard-working, so it goes along with me being a Wood Rat too :)

As for elemental association, I have a soft spot for enchanted woods and forest mazes, so…

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversation: What is the main thing you like to do on vacations?

21 Monday Sep 2020

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It’s probably a cliche, but having uninterrupted time to read is one of my main loves on vacations.

Normally I’ll get a little time each evening to read. Sometimes I’ll get a bunch more hours on the weekend. I admit I try to squeeze in reading time in many other places: dragging a book with me wherever I go, listening to an audiobook while I walk or do menial tasks, having something open while I’m eating lunch. Yet during vacations–real vacations–I’ll get a chance to just sit and read unashamedly for giant lengths of time.

I like to do other things as well, of course. I love the beach, the ocean, floating down rivers, kayaking… Really anything to do with water I enjoy. I also like hiking (short hikes–I haven’t graduated to anything more than a few miles) and museums (I’m the person who reads all the plaques–that’s why I’m there, to learn). I will do some crafting–crochet and cross-stitch. Also will bake sweet things (cooking isn’t quite as fun as muffin and cookie baking).

And, of course, write. Can’t escape that one!

But mostly read. Possibly because I like to live vicariously through the adventures of other people since I can’t very well experience most of what I read about :)

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversation: How often do you use your library?

07 Monday Sep 2020

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Or do you use your library? I certainly do. I wouldn’t be able to afford my reading habit otherwise.

I think the prices on books is fair given how long it takes to write a novel and how much an author puts into their work, but it takes far less time to read a novel than it takes to write one, which means we need a higher supply than what my wallet can afford.

I don’t browse in libraries. Or at least, rarely will I.

Mostly, I’ll see a book I want to read, write the title down, then look it up on my library’s search engine and just put in a request. Then I’ll only have to stop into the physical library once my book(s) are on hold.

Nowadays it’s gotten even easier. Don’t even have to get out of my car because my library has created a literal drive-through for book-pickup/drop-off. I just book an approximate appointment time, drive up and give my name and get handed a big ol’ bag filled with my already checked-out requests. It’s seamless, takes less than 30 seconds, and means I don’t have to see or talk to anyone inside the library (there’s probably a detriment there in terms of socially isolating myself, but during COVID that’s a blessing).

As to the actual answer to the question of how often I’ll use the library… All the time. I have a special “library bookshelf” next to my front door that is never, ever empty.

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversation: What profession do you think is the most undervalued today?

31 Monday Aug 2020

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This has been discussed by a lot of people, many of whom are more intelligent and knowledgeable than I am, but I think it still needs to be said: teachers, especially those of younger children, are incredibly undervalued.

Professors teaching at a higher level are given a great deal of respect, but the lower one looks, the less respect teachers receive. Glance at a few pre-school teachers and no one thinks anything of them, which drives me crazy because the younger a child is the more capable they are of learning and the faster they learn. With each passing year, children mature, gain experiences, and their brains becomes more firm and less versatile. Most people accept that it’s easier to learn a second or third language when quite young vs as an adult, and yet, for some hapless reason, we still completely dismiss and disregard all the people responsible for those young minds.

Those first few years at school (and the time before, of course) are some of the best times to help children advance, to encourage them to go beyond simple rubrics. They are far more capable than the school systems in the U.S. allow them to be and this is demonstrated by the low salaries, low appreciation and dismissive behavior concerning teachers.

Teachers put in a lot of themselves, much of their own time and money outside their typical hours are spent on their classroom, their students and even correspondence with parents. The good ones put their students first and are obvious by how those kids will continue to stop by long after they no longer have those teachers. Continue reading →