When I first chose this question, I had the idea that the answer would revolve around all the people I’d known in high school or college. All those friends who ended up being circle-friends, ie, the friends you only have because you run in the same circles, chase the same goals, see each other daily. Those people who feel separated from your life as a whole despite being so much a part of your life.
And then, when that section of your life is over, when you graduate, move on, move away, change jobs and the circles change and change again, you find that you never really had those friends in the way you thought you had. They’d never really been there. They’d just be…there, in that physical location.
But then I got to thinking…
It’s been a few years since I last published anything. In that time, my presence on social media has become spotty. My writing has gotten out of sync with my life. I have attempted to put more and more on my plate as if more will somehow be better, when in actuality, more is just making life harder and me less efficient.
I know that the people who focus on one thing at a time are the people who succeed the most, the fastest, the easiest. And yet, despite knowing this, I struggle with it. Maybe it’s in the stars, that I’m to be forever jumping between projects, constantly getting interrupted. Maybe I’m just making poor decision after poor decision, getting further and further behind, feeling lost when I sign back into technology, to sites, to processes that I thought I’d known by heart.
So, in answer to the question, I guess the real answer, the answer that actually reflects the true crux of something meaningful, is me. I’ve lost touch with what I like, why I write, why I work so hard. I’ve lost touch with why I did this in the first place. Continue reading