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Emmi Lawrence

~ MM Fantasy Romance Writer

Emmi  Lawrence

Tag Archives: long-reads

Canvas Blues – V: Present

26 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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adventure fantasy, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, LGBT, long-reads, Love, Mystery, Novel, prose, Publication, Romance, Short Fiction, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

V: Present

“Is there something wrong with my painting?” asked Brendon. Another might have asked “Who are you?” or “What are you doing in my studio?” and been right to do so, but Brendon’s attention zeroed in on that package, the bubble wrap an annoyance, blocking what it protected.

Could it be the garden scene, the Alice and company, complete with teapots and cookies and the recipient’s grandchildren seated between Carroll’s creations? Or possibly the cemetery that had morphed into a galactic battle cruiser, the man’s soul a stretching thing reaching beyond the solar system? It could not possibly be the starry nightscape, the one with equatorial constellations he’d spent weeks researching for a homesick immigrant.

The man’s expression did not change, his grimness potentially painted on. He had pleasant angles, the sort that made him interesting, for the shadows cut across his face rather sharply.

“My name is Orion Livesey. I work for Wendy Arpsol.”

Brendon mouthed the name, though his mind lingered on Mr. Livesey’s angles. He glanced at his open sketchbook. “I’ve never done work for a Wendy Arpsol.”

“No. You wouldn’t have. The painting was a gift of sorts.”

Now Brendon dismissed him with a wave though he’d already drawn five lines, ghosts of angles on the page. “I don’t do refunds through third parties. You’ll have to take this up directly with my client.”

“I can’t. He’s dead.”

Brendon sagged slightly. “I’m sorry to hear that, but the painting then would belong to his estate.”

“You don’t understand.” Mr. Livesey strode closer, his steps purposeful, one hand going into the pocket of his suit jacket. “The painting is dangerous. It needs to be kept somewhere it can do no more harm.”

Brendon looked between Mr. Livesey and the nondescript package. His eyebrows rose slowly as he contemplated what he might possibly say in response.

Mr. Livesey sighed, his grimness replaced with a sense of foreboding reluctance. He took in Brendon’s entire workspace with a practiced eye, his gaze never lingering on any one thing, but not missing the stale sandwich and plethora of half-finished water bottles. Then the corner of his mouth tugged like it wanted to remember how to smile.

“May I buy you some real lunch?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter!

Canvas Blues – IV: Yesteryears

19 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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adventure fantasy, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, Publication, Romance, Short Fiction, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

IV: Yesteryears

The day Brendon was born, a thunderstorm rolling in during a late June afternoon, the oil from a diesel had spread across the parking lot, a snake wound tight at one end and slippery, whipcord at the other. A dark rainbow patterned the asphalt and stuck to the bottom of his mother’s sneakers. She tripped on the way in, in between contractions, and though she didn’t fall, her stomach heaved and the diaper bag filled with newborn outfits spilled off his father’s shoulder and into the slick as he jerked to catch her.

Inside, in the corner of a labor and delivery room, that same diaper bag sat in an out-of-the-way corner, rainbow oil seeping up through cotton threads to bless a never-before-worn onesie with color goodness and a painter’s spirit. It had dried by the time his father changed Brendon into it over in the maternity ward, the dark smear almost unnoticeable against the navy fabric, and besides, the rest of the clothes had long since been smeared with worse things of a biological nature.

His mother later claimed it was a fairy, or faerie were Brendon in trouble, that had flown by and kissed Brendon’s fat baby thighs and spindly fingers to grant him such an artistic nature. He had a stork’s kiss, a puckered splatter of darker skin, that ran just under his hipbone and curled in the shape of a sickle, or a moon, or a fingernail, or the curving keel of a ship’s bow cutting up from the water, or the gentle sloping of a river, or the trajectory of a hummingbird’s wing, or…

Brendon’s mother could and did make up a hundred different ideas of what that patch of skin might represent and he took them into his heart, one after the other, where they blossomed from his fingertips on bath tile walls and later from the end of cheap, splitting bristles bought from a dollar store.

She’d say it was a fairy who kissed him and brought his talent, but he knew better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter!

Canvas Blues – III: Yesteryears

12 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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adventure fantasy, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, Publication, Romance, Short Fiction, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

III: Yesteryears

Brendon Kotes grew up in a small house in rural Maryland, just a few miles from the bay, but on the wrong side, where the money landed in patches rather than wide swatches of world. He hadn’t landed in money, per se, but he had landed with something infinitely better: two loving parents and a couple of straight-laced older siblings who gave him just enough rope to explore, but not enough to hang.

Not like Casey Mattingly, whose older sister introduced him to drag racing and the smoky after parties that tasted more of rubber and pisswater beer rather than the freedom he claimed. Casey fell, again and again, like a rock desperate to sink into the bay. And when that first crevice did not go deep enough, he’d find a new one, a better one, a darker one, until he settled in the deepest trench and no amount of hands could drag him out.

Where there’s one side, there’s always another.

Robbie Frey lived in one of those patches of wealth, with a boat slip and a jaguar under his own name before he turned eighteen. Possibly a bit overboard in terms of spending at times, with a dabbing of debt to hang on his kitchen corkboard, but all in all, a good fellow with a decent job who only stayed up too late on the weekends sometimes, who had only skipped his homework occasionally, and tried his best not to be late to work, but traffic happens.

A good sort. A balance to Casey’s insistent calls of freedom and open road. For who needs traffic at seven thirty in the morning on a bright spring day when one could have long stretches of tarmac to squeal down during moonlit hours of humid glory?

Robbie did, that’s who. But not Casey.

And not Brendon either, but it was years before he realized he didn’t need that long stretch of tarmac either. Didn’t need the car, the drive, the steady job or the transient races.

Just a good sable brush and the inkling of an idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter!

Canvas Blues – II: Present

05 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, Romance, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

II: Present

When he thought about it, Brendon wasn’t sure whether things had started with Robbie. Or before that, with Casey. Maybe everything had started some inconsequential day, not worthy of remembrance, lost in a simpler time.

When he thought about it again, Brendon realized that no matter what might have happened with Casey, with Robbie, with his parents, his aunt or his favorite art teacher in middle school, that the day things had truly begun was the day he’d met Orion Livesey.

He’d been working at his larger easel, on a painting that would be a bayscape, part of the bottom cut away to reveal the clams and crabs clambering about the shallows. He had a stack of photos nearby, some hung up on wire, so he might reference the shape and size of crab pincers and the curves and crevices of living clams.

The far windows were open to let in a breeze that wouldn’t disturb his work and he’d propped the heavy door to the studio to allow the air to flow. Music, Bach and Handel and Mozart, played quietly on repeat on an ancient, paint-stained player on the floor by the outlet. He remembered the day well, down to the minutia. He could have painted the moment, though he never did.

So engrossed in his work, breath held to keep his arm steady, Brendon didn’t realize anyone was with him until that someone cleared his throat.

Brendon released the breath he’d been holding in a startled exhale that smoothed across the fresh strokes. Then he turned.

The first thing Brendon noted was the package under the man’s arm, layers of bubble wrap and cloth. Only then did his gaze skip up to the man himself.

The stranger was tall, without being lanky, and held himself carefully, every motion calculated, like math. He wore a grim expression, the kind Brendon would have painted on a background figure looking on during a morose scene, just enough emotion to give a hint, but not enough to draw the eye or become the focal. He suspected that this man represented that ideal: always there, but never at the forefront.

“You’re Brendon Kotes.” He did not seem to be asking.

Brendon shrugged and tipped the brush back from the canvas so he wouldn’t inadvertently smear the paint. He found himself holding his breath again as the man laid his package on the long wooden table.

“I’ve come to return a painting.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter!

Canvas Blues – I: Prologue

29 Wednesday Jan 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

adventure fantasy, Canvas Blues, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, Romance, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

I: Prologue

There once was a man who could paint.

He drew globs of acrylic and oil about canvas, across wood, within concrete cracks and fabric that sucked the paint and nudged it along specific threads of cotton and wool. He used colors of lapis, of emerald and periwinkle. Ivory rather than white; ebony rather than black. He’d call his blends by emotion, this one here the quick, sticky sadness of a dropped ice cream on a warm summer day, while this other the laughter one feels when it grows and grows, pushing at your throat, tapping at the back of your teeth, yet fizzles before it can erupt.

He held his breath as he drew fine lines and thick, or curved strokes and straight. He held his breath often enough it became second nature as a way to steady not only his hand, but his heart, his head. And only when done could he exhale, releasing any indecision, careful attention or concern.

It was as if, in that moment of exhale, when he blew hot breath across fresh paint and new choices, a piece of him enveloped his art. A cloud, of condensed care and longing, ghosting across new faces, open settings, to settle on the chemicals as liquids turned to solids.

There once was a man who could paint. And in his paintings, there grew life from his breath.

And there grew death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter

Coffee & Conversation: What’s Up for 2020?

27 Monday Jan 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Announcement, Coffee & Conversation, Personal

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Canvas Blues, Cover, Fantasy, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Lost Isle, Love, M/M, Novel, Serial, Writing

That’s a good question and one I’ve been debating for the past few weeks. But I think it’s high time I give you an update. Probably far past high time.

Firstly, Lost Isle is done. I finished the book in September ’19 with a whimper of relief rather than an explosion of excitement. It’s in formatting stage with some promo pieces completed and others needing a ton of work. I love this book though and have spent far too long on it to push it out quickly. So I’m going to do things right this time around

Lost Isle: The Ocean’s Aviary I is getting an official release date of March 9th 2021.

But that has nothing to do with 2020, does it? Not really.

Novel

For 2020 I’ve prepared something else for my blog. Like a few stories I’ve done before, I’m going to begin serializing a novel. The chapters are short, and the book itself follows a character through both his past and the present. I have a place-holder cover that I will use for now to represent the book. Thus, I’m introducing:

CANVAS BLUES:
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

When the lawyer Orion Livesey invites himself into Brendon Kotes’ studio to return a painting, the man comes with insinuations and questions that skim into the realm of impossibility. For he claims Brendon’s painting has killed a man.

But a painting is just a painting and Brendon’s are no different despite Orion’s insistence otherwise. And though Brendon resists the idea his art could be dangerous, there are moments in his past that begin to surface, pieces of a puzzle he didn’t even realize existed coalescing despite all his attempts to keep them buried.

Questions he doesn’t want to know the answer to begin to knock about his mind, for what destruction in his past could he have been responsible for without ever even knowing.

As I’ve said, the book is told with two timelines, one within the present day, the other all those puzzle pieces of his past. I will be posting each new chapter every Wednesday (I know! It’s not Sunday. Crazy, right?), starting the 29th with the prologue.

Coffee and Conversation

As well as serializing Canvas Blues on Wednesdays, I will also be doing something quick and fun on Mondays. The idea here is to answer different questions every week in a fun paragraph/essay format. Some might be a little deeper, some will be silly or fluff.

Anyone’s welcome to pose a question if they like, but I presume most will come from me as they will operate as a tiny window into who I am or what I’m doing or what I’m working on.

I have a few more possibilities toward the end of the year, but as of right now, these are the things I feel confident in announcing given the amount of projects I’m working on, which I will be slowly becoming more transparent about :)

~Emmi

 

Across That Ocean of Sand

05 Sunday Aug 2018

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Fantasy, M/M, Short Story

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

adventure fantasy, Author's Notes, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, prose, Romance, Short Fiction, Writing

“You don’t get seasick, do you?”

His attention remained on the leather harness rather than on me, yet I heard a rather interesting lilt in his tone, as if he were remembering some past bloke who couldn’t hold his breakfast.

“It’s a similar feeling, a rocking, swaying with the muscles of her neck bunching between your legs. A different sort of barren landscape underneath.”

I swallowed against an instinctual bile rising to the back of my throat and neglected to answer for I’d never stood foot aboard anything large enough to sail the seas. “Have you ever been on an ocean?”

My curiosity was merely an attempt to distract myself from the wyvern clawing at the ground and sniffing at the dusty air, her focus pulled toward the erg filling the world to the east. Ruins of a distant time jutted from beneath the sandy layers nearby. Crenellations lingering long after the city had been claimed by the encroaching dunes.

The man snorted and patted his vest before tugging free a pair of hide-covered binoculars. “No, but wind-surfing the dunes sparks a similar feeling I’ve been told when you’re on the down side, a dropping in your gut, and I’d dune-surfed a few times in my youth.”

“Who told you they were similar?” I asked.

I had my doubts, as I’d dune-surfed as well and didn’t think it could possibly be comparable to being wyvernback. Not at all. On the sand, I had control of that board. Up there? I’d be at the beast’s mercy. And there was a whole lot farther to fall if I lost my balance.

“And old flame,” he muttered in answer as he scanned the horizon, then he passed the binoculars to me. “We go south, over the sinkholes, stop at the Ribcage for her to rest and then head on to Hollow Heights near dusk.”

“That long?”

“Longer still if we don’t get going.” He patted his girl’s neck, gloved fingers scratching at beige-scaled hide. The man himself, face leathery, short beard unkempt, clothes worn, yet clean, seemed content to merely stand there though. He’d been paid half already. I reasoned, if I backed out now, it’d been an easy payday for him even without earning the other half.

And backing out seemed more and more attractive the longer I stood there hesitating. Couldn’t seem to move myself closer to that wyvern, my heart beating a rapid rhythm and my mind tricking me into thinking I was in danger. Sweat broke out on my neck. My legs screamed for me to run.

“Her name is Preen. Likes compliments and jewelry. To a girl’s heart.”

When I didn’t move, his eyebrow quirked and a resigned smile that held a hint of irritated empathy flickered across his face. “She’s a nableclaw. Small, swift and friendly to boot. You’ll be in safe hands.”

My chest squeezed, the air so dry I felt as if could feel my lips cracking. “Give me a moment.”

The words came out sharper than I’d intended, but I didn’t correct myself as I spun abruptly and strode away, needing to be out of reach of the wyvern, my fear an animal in its own right, clawing up my spine, ripping through my skin, pouring from my pores like burning magma.

Along the edge of the rocky mound, I paused and leaned, staring longingly to the northwest where the plateau around Springhaven stretched. The small city—home—couldn’t be seen, not from this height, not from this distance, but I knew it to be there, hidden beneath the plateau.

The man’s boots scuffed the rock behind me. “You’re not a dune crawler or a wyvernback. What’s in the Wastes for you to do this?”

What indeed. More like a who. A man I wasn’t even sure would be happy to see me.

I knew I could convince myself of the uselessness of this trip easily enough. I also knew I’d forever ask myself what if…

What if I hadn’t let this fear stop me from going to him? Hadn’t let it be the end of us. Continue reading →

Publication Day! (Those Bloody Christmas Elves)

14 Tuesday Nov 2017

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Announcement

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

adventure fantasy, Author's Notes, Christmas, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, Holiday, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Novella, Publication, Romance, Series, Those Bloody Christmas Elves, Writing

I guess an early Merry Christmas is in store because it’s Publication Day for Those Bloody Christmas Elves! Available now for $2.99.

As always, here are a few tidbits about the writing of. This story is just shy of 40k so there isn’t quite as much about it as there are others, but here goes…

1.  Origins :)

Obviously this story came directly from wanting a holiday idea. It had to be contemporary, of course, but I wanted to do something different, something you didn’t see much of but that also included fantastical elements. Thus all the typical Christmas magic comes into play, but turned on its head so I could have an actual antagonist.

Please note: I am not against Christmas or lying to your kids about Santa. I do it myself :) I just thought it would be fun to mess with the idea.

2. Rebuilding

This story started out as 1st person to be written solely in Taylor’s POV. He’s pretty much against Christmas for some pretty understandable reasons, but that makes his beginning POV seem a little harsh despite all the good he’s attempting to do.

Because of that, and because I came up with a twist that required Greg’s POV, I did an overhaul of the beginning, altering the tense from 1st to 3rd and adding alternating chapters from Greg’s POV. This also allowed me to explain things smoother since Greg was the ignorant one who needed to ask the questions.

3. Search History

Yes, I now know how to make home-made smoke bombs and caltrops. This knowledge will likely never come in handy XD

4. Secret Scene!

So I had this scene I really wanted to write. A tiny one that would deal with an issue Greg has to handle on his own. Thing was, it didn’t truly fit into the narrative, wasn’t part of the romance and stood beyond the adventure aspect. So you got a secret scene at the end of this book because I wanted to write it anyway. :) Make sure you go past all the back matter to find it!

5. It’s Not Over Yet!

This is technically the first of three holiday stories. The plan is to write and publish the following two stories about Taylor and Greg in 2018 (Rise of the Snowmen) and 2019 (Christmas is Cancelled).

Because Santa isn’t happy…

September ’17, Briefly

30 Saturday Sep 2017

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Updates

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Author's Notes, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, Houndmaster, LGBT, Living Metal, long-reads, Lost Isle, Love, M/M, Novel, Pup Games, Romance, Storm Dancer, The Ocean's Aviary, Writing

Back to school season! That means words can be completed without distraction! Massive editing can be taken on! Research doesn’t become a befuddled mess in my brain! Means I finished a bunch of work :)

1) Lost Isle (The Ocean’s Aviary I)

Received Cover files and Teasers! And oh, my gosh I’m so excited to share with you. It’s gorgeous and awesome and…and won’t be revealed until Oct. 22nd!

2) Pup Games (A Houndmaster Novel)

Finished! Sort of! The words are all there at least. It’s waiting on further editing phases, but I’m really happy with how it turned out–except that one scene that needs the prose massively cleaned up. I must have been having a ‘wat r wurds’ day when I wrote that. So plenty of work left to accomplish to keep me busy! La’vii is a sweetheart compared to some of my last few MCs.  Definitely a nice change of pace :) And Co’mil is… He’s the kind of man who pretends to be harder than he is because he’s been hurt too many times. But maybe I’ve said too much :O

This one isn’t a grand, journey-style adventure like The Wilds Duology, but I think it’s fun to add pieces to the world. Extra character introductions and wider possibilities. There’s another standalone Houndmaster Novel in the works as well that is also mostly set in Crafton–Doghouse Negotiations. Only about 15% of the way through this one, but it has more to do with the city and some of the darker things going on there.

3) Storm Dancer (Living Metal I)

This was that Steampunk story I told you about. You know, the one I claimed was just a novelette. Yeeaahh, it’s now the first in a novella series. I finished this as well. Coming mid-to-late 2018. It’s about a mechanic and his favorite, and famous, client.

4) Somewhat Secret Project

Mostly I did brainstorming/outlining for this one. Have a couple thousand words completed as well. No clues.

~

Hope you are all having a productive autumn as well :) Just in the past two days, around where I live has finally come out of a humidity spike and the heat has been lingering around 70F. It’s pumpkin spice time and colorful leaves…and boots!

PS: Full disclosure, I don’t actually drink pumpkin spice. I’m a Christmas peppermint kind of gal.

Tall, Dark & Handsome

03 Sunday Sep 2017

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, M/M, Short Story

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Promotion, prose, Romance, Sale, Short Fiction, Writing

Every coffee shop needs three things: black coffee, free Wi-Fi and a hot barista. The trifecta for all our caffeine-addicted, lust-driven and connectivity issues.

Perfection is not easy to find.

That place off Mackle Street has spotty internet. The cafe down on the corner of Humble Way and 4th has burnt coffee and a stream of loud teens. The place a street off of that—Cloud Coffee and Tea—is so quiet you’ll know every bit of drama between the two baristas before an hour is out.

The discovery of the century is this narrow cafe called Tall, Dark & Handsome—or TDH to us regulars. The windows have navy blue, yet sheer, curtains that both let in the light but stop nosy window gazers from seeing computer screens. The hum of activity, while just a murmur, is enough to give a sense of cover. The tables are small but rounded, hard wood yet curved comfortably, obviously meant to entice a person to sit for long lengths of time because they don’t numb backsides or leave lines of pain behind the knees.

Small shelves, each filled with a spattering of books, are scattered throughout, some of the tables having them built into their single center legs. The unwritten rule is you take one, you leave another. One kind, though likely anal, older gentleman has taken it upon himself to keep those shelves sorted. There’s a fantasy and sci-fi table, another with romance and paranormals and two more with dramas and thrillers. The non-fiction fills the largest shelves by the bakery window.

The coffee beans are ground by hand in-house, the occasional humming of that pestle no where near as ear-splittingly painful as the machines in other places. The baristas make hot cocoa from scratch as well, their pots of melted chocolate and warm milk a constant aphrodisiac.

They wouldn’t be, if it weren’t for the lean specimen of male beauty always standing behind that stove. He wears no name tag, though his apron is as black as his hair and his coffee-flavored eyes are as hypnotizing as the real thing. His smiles are brief, his attention briefer. His hands move deftly in their work, skills that likely translate well into the bedroom. His book bag is filled with computer and textbooks when he leaves at noon and the occasional overheard conversation puts him in law school.

A man like that is sure to be attached. His ability to be an ardent lover a byproduct of all that unwavering focus and intense ambition. How he must feel, hot and willing, sweet and strong, moving over his partners… Continue reading →

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CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

A serialized novel begun Jan 29th 2020. Here you can find links to the beginning and the most recent additions.

I: Prologue
II: Present
III: Yesteryears
IV: Yesteryears
V: Present

……….

L: Present
LI: Yesteryears
LII: Yesteryears
LIII: Present
LIV: Yesteryears

New chapters published every Wednesday!
Next up: Jul 7th 2021

FREE SHORT STORIES

THE BAYWATER & THE HURRICANE
(fantasy M/M)

WHAT SECRETS MIGHT REMAIN
(fantasy M/M)

TALL, DARK & HANDSOME
(contemporary M/M)

THE IMMORTAL LOVER OF LAKE PHANTA
(fantasy M/M)

ACROSS THAT OCEAN OF SAND
(fantasy M/M)

MY LIFE, HIS BREATH
(contemporary M/M)

POET’S BANE
(fantasy M/M)

What’s Up!

  • Canvas Blues – XCV: Present
  • Canvas Blues – XCIV: Present
  • Coffee & Conversation: How to keep your plots/stories from being repetitive?
  • Canvas Blues – XCIII: Yesteryears
  • Coffee & Conversation: How to critique someone else’s work?
  • Canvas Blues – XCII: Present

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