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Emmi Lawrence

~ MM Fantasy Romance Writer

Emmi  Lawrence

Tag Archives: Erotica

Canvas Blues – XLIII: Yesteryears

18 Wednesday Nov 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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Canvas Blues, Erotica, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, paranormal, prose, reading, Romance, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

XLIII: Yesteryears

Taylor L. became a mainstay at a lot of parties that year. At the time he seemed a superhero in and of himself. A god, a devil tearing up the roads. He could do no wrong in Casey’s eyes. Could do no right in Robbie’s. Brendon tagged along but rarely, to places close enough he could run home at two in the morning and sneak into bed with his clothes smelling of smoke and his sketchbook filled of beer pong and flip cup.

Through January and February, Becks took a break from driving them around. Medical procedure that left her wrung out and sore and with her staying at their mom’s house most of the time. Left Casey alone with their dad more often than not and gave Brendon an excuse to not go to parties he didn’t rightfully enjoy except for Casey’s presence.

He wondered later if, had he gone, had put in the effort to be out there, would things have ended up different in Casey’s life? But that thought got set right years later when he ran into Becks—grocery store of all places, him heading out with a couple of bags, her about to head in.

“Nothing you did could have changed things, Bren. He was already gone, head over heels with an idea that never should have been okay. If anyone’s to blame…” And here she paused, pursed her lips and blinked, looking away for a moment. “I should never have brought him to the races as young as I did. Thing is, though, you do what makes sense at the time.” Continue reading →

Canvas Blues – XLII: Yesteryears

11 Wednesday Nov 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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Canvas Blues, Erotica, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, reading, Romance, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

XLII: Yesteryears

Mr. Wexlar’s person habitat was a turn-in for the end of November, right before the holiday. He turned a critical eye to Brendon’s canvas, narrowed gaze darting over the haphazardly thrown scarves across the back of Aunt Laurel’s couch, like an out-of-order rainbow with tassels and beads and trailing threads. He coughed lightly when he turned the painting toward the ceiling light, shadows escaping across the chimes hanging just inside the window, the plant below curling downward in a modest bid to dress itself. A draping of glittering strands hung within the hallway and tied up to either side of the extra wide kitchen doorway.

“And what’s this?”

Brendon leaned in. “Aunt Laurel’s mirrors.”

Eight of them to be exact—Brendon had counted and shifted around to get the reflections just right, the glare of the sun making two of them sheens of blinding light.

“Interesting. Seeing her world double. I like that you used that wall.”

“It’s about perspective,” murmured Brendon, echoing the dogma Aunt Laurel had drilled into him.

“Yes, yes. Perspective. Very good. Go set it over there with the others.”

Brendon got five points off, but he never really understood why. He suspected Mr. Wexlar just wanted to be spiteful. Aunt Laurel, at least, fell head over heels in love with the canvas the moment she got her hands on it (never did get hung up in Mr. Wexlar’s classroom—that honor went to Tonya Midgarner and her—admittedly good—painting of her brother’s mechanic shop, complete with empty soda cans, candy wrappers and a weight bar with a layer of dust). Continue reading →

Canvas Blues – XLI: Present

04 Wednesday Nov 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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Canvas Blues, Erotica, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, paranormal, prose, reading, Romance, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

XLI: Present

Diana Tagalori—six years old and a perfect cross of princess and tomboy with her summer dress frilly and lavender yet with dirt riding the hem and a frog in a mesh bag about her wrist—sat at a tea table with chipped porcelin cups and hot chocolate leaving brown smears across every available surface. Red hair hung straight across her shoulders, the fronts brushed and carefully stroked now and then, while the back could have hid a nest or three and a couple of eggs.

“Mr. Brendon, will you play with me? I have cookies.” And she held out an empty hand, the mesh bag swinging wildly and the frog fumbling about within, webbed feet strugging to find purchase among all the holes.

Orion swept his fingers across Diana’s, adeptly picking up an imaginary cookie and gobbling it before Brendon could step forward. “Delicious! Ms. Tagalori, you are an amazing cook.”

Diana glared at him. “That was for Mr. Brendon. He’s the one who paints.”

Orion actually moued, stammering apologies in a way Brendon would have never imagined the suave lawyer could do. Calling Diana, Miss and Ma’am and Lady without the added moniker of “young” that often hid a twist of condescension.

With a twirl of a red lock between dirty fingers and an indulgent nod, Diana said, “I forgive you. Dad says I have to forgive anyone who apologizes and means it.”

At the doorway, Paul Tagalori chuffed a laugh and shrugged self-consciously.

“Wise words from your father.”

“Mr. Brendon, here’s a cookie for you.” And she narrowed her gaze at Orion in warning. Continue reading →

Canvas Blues – XL: Yesteryears

28 Wednesday Oct 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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Canvas Blues, Erotica, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, paranormal, prose, reading, Romance, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

XL: Yesteryears

They talked comics still, mostly because Robbie’s mom took him every two weeks to the shop where he dropped fifteen or twenty on the most recent chapters of some favorites or soon-to-be-favorites. Then he’d pass them along, book bag to classroom, locker to book bag again where they’d get crinkled and bent and loved and even read sometimes.

Compartmentalization happens without realizing. Talk to this person about this subject; that person about that. Criss-crossing social circles shouldn’t—couldn’t—happen. Brendon didn’t really think of it like that, of course. He thought: I can’t talk to Robbie about Casey and I can’t talk to Casey about Robbie and I certainly can’t talk about Tori Kel to anyone.

The beginnings of social compartmentalization regardless.

Superheroes became that safe topic. Villain transgression, hero motivations, ability realities, scientific impossibilities (or improbabilities), what makes fantasy different than sci-fi and, occasionally, which artist do you like the best. Though, admittedly, that last conversation was more Brendon’s wheel-house than Robbie’s.

To Brendon it meant he could keep his friendships intact, regardless of broken feelings over Tori Kel. He had so few of them—friends, that was—he didn’t want to lose them. Either of them. Unlike Casey, he’d never had the freedom to work his way into private circles. Unlike Robbie, he didn’t have the confidence to believe he belonged in all of them. Continue reading →

Canvas Blues – XXXIX: Yesteryears

21 Wednesday Oct 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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Canvas Blues, Erotica, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, reading, Romance, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

XXXIX: Yesteryears

There are some kids who, finding out their parents think a certain way, latch on to it like glue. Faith, politics, morals. Just the tip of the iceberg, those are. Entire families create dynasties in this way…or at least a locally owned gas station chain.

Then there are other kids, the kind who, upon finding out a parent’s belief, will run like hell the opposite way. Called “contrary.” “Difficult.” Or, Casey’s favorite: “wild.”

So when Casey’s father began his ranting on about Taylor L. being a cheap-ass mother-fucker who wouldn’t know his fender from his tranny if they both hit him upside the head, well, Casey took that as permission to get to know the newly minted drag winner. He’d tag along, on the outskirts of that circle, perched on the tailgate of someone else’s truck, elbows on knees as he listened and laughed and talked shop with young men twice his age and just as reckless.

Brendon found out later—much later—that Taylor L. had been only twenty-one during that first race. Messed up nose from too many boys-will-be-boys neighborhood brawls. Crooked teeth, not because his parents didn’t have dental, but because they just kept “forgetting” to go to checkups. Hair to his shoulders, dark and wavy and full, yet pulled back into a tight bun the moment things got serious.

And things were always serious during midnight hour, illegal races down Ol’ North Main.

At least according to Casey. Continue reading →

Canvas Blues – XXXVIII: Present

14 Wednesday Oct 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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Canvas Blues, Erotica, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, reading, Romance, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

XXXVIII: Present

Brendon waited until the car doors both closed. “If you’re going to accost all my previous customers about their grief, I won’t share any more of them with you.”

“She liked me. She called me young man. No one but my mother calls me that.”

“You have a mother?”

Orion sat back in the driver’s seat and pursed his lips in an unreadable expression.

“When I was working on the painting, she called me young man when she couldn’t remember my name. Be more respectful.”

“I will be the epitome of respect, Mr. Kotes.”

“Sarcasm? Your repertoire must be limited.”

“Why are you upset, truly?” Continue reading →

Canvas Blues – XXXVII: Yesteryears

07 Wednesday Oct 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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Canvas Blues, Erotica, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, reading, Romance, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

XXXVII: Yesteryears

One of the first assignments Mr. Wexlar gave the eighth grade art classes was to paint a study of a habitat. They started with nature, him pushing them to take that autumn to look around, see the world outside of video games and television. Brendon’s first turn-in ended up getting a scowl because the cattail-engulfed and lily-pad-dotted pond for a turtle had not been researched well enough.

“Stop curling things that shouldn’t be curled. Did you bother to actually go to a pond? At the very least do an internet search.”

Brendon had done an internet search; he’d just been a little preoccupied at the time because Casey had been doing push-ups and raging on about Tori Kel some more. The distraction had been real and he’d kept swapping back and forth between sketchbooks, one of them spread on his lap. For reasons.

He then turned in a nesting pole jutting from an inlet off the bay and at least there he got full marks because Mr. Wexlar liked the detail on the osprey. After that, the assignment turned weird because now Mr. Wexlar wanted everyone to create a picture of a person’s habitat.

“Show me who they are! Books for the bookworm! Trophies for the athlete! Get creative. Give me hints in their chosen clothing and layers within the setting. However! No one is one note. Remember that. No one person can be captured completely in a painting, but we can sure try. And that’s what I want you all to do this week.” Continue reading →

Canvas Blues – XXXVI: Yesteryears

30 Wednesday Sep 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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Canvas Blues, Erotica, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, reading, Romance, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

XXXVI: Yesteryears

Between Wild Woods Street and Grazer Road lay a bit of tarmac, crumbling at its sides, that stretched into a hill that waxed from a forty-five degree angle to one just over sixty. All the kids called it The Big Hill since it was a big hill.

The Big Hill was where Tony Surlay practiced skate-boarding tricks and ended up tumbling one autumn, landing at the bottom with a broken arm. The Big Hill was the locale for impromptu summer bike-races for all the neighborhood kids. The Big Hill was where Robbie cracked his forehead open when his tire caught in the chasm of an crack along the edge of the road.

Brendon tore his shirt off that day—primary red with the black lettering of a local rec sports team—and held it to Robbie’s face while Casey ran to Mr. Don’s door and banged and banged as if he hadn’t just shouted obscenities at Robbie, as if he hadn’t cut his rusted bike into Robbie’s brand new six-speed with black paint and green pinstripes and shiny chains and working hand brakes.

Even after they climbed into Mr. Don’s dirty truck and rode to Robbie’s house, Casey remained quiet, a combination of shame and satisfaction in his countenance. Robbie claimed an accident and Brendon hadn’t been snitch enough to tell, but he’d stared at Casey, willing him to admit the part he’d played. Continue reading →

Canvas Blues – XXXV: Present

23 Wednesday Sep 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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Canvas Blues, Erotica, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, reading, Romance, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

XXXV: Present

The next of Brendon’s customers they visited was an older lady by the name of Emma Holde. Clutter lined her hallways and stacked itself in piles on the coffee table, the bookshelves, the wide windowsills. But it was the careful sort of clutter. The memories one didn’t wish to toss when memories happened to be all that was left.

Orion stared at the picture—rolling river waves, a boat race in the springtime, a man standing at the helm of one Dandelion Roar while three children crawled about the prow and the sun counted another day in lives worth living.

“That’s me standing beside him,” said Emma, voice aged and fine. She gave a sigh and a secret smile for Brendon, wisps of variegated gray tickling her cheeks. “He got the likeness of us all down, even to the way Gina used to twist her knees in when she was little.”

“How long have you had it?” asked Orion. The picture hung over a well-loved sofa. A focal point in the room. A memory welcoming all the others piled up along the walls.

“Three years,” murmured Brendon.

“That’s right,” agreed Emma. “Three years ago. Tommy commissioned it for me and Gina sifted through all the photos to give Brendon what he needed. Tommy even took him for a tour of a boat the like we used to have. Not the Roar, of course. It’s been long since it sailed its last voyage.”

Orion turned from examining the painting, his gaze cutting across the bookshelves, over the trio of cats lounging in the early sunshafts, and settling on Brendon.

“When was the last time you sailed, Ms. Holde?” Continue reading →

Canvas Blues – XXXIV: Yesteryears

16 Wednesday Sep 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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Canvas Blues, Erotica, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, reading, Romance, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

XXXIV: Yesteryears

Summer between seventh and eighth grade went by achingly slowly. Thirteen years old. Too young to go driving about. Too old to be playing kickball with the neighborhood kids. Just old enough to want and want, but not know exactly what to do about it. Not really.

Robbie brought Tori Kel down to the wharf where they played footsie off the piers. He brought her to the park where they swung at dusk and played a touchy-feely game of tag with the other kids right outside the forest. He did not bring her to the car graveyard. Not ever.

Two weeks before eighth grade started in earnest, soccer practice already going in full swing (as attested by Casey’s every-present shin guards and cleats), a group of middle-schoolers took to lingering under the second pavilion, the older one closer to the basketball court where boys taunted Brendon for not playing.

Tori Kel came with Robbie and sat down next to Brendon with a book of her own. Hers was a school book. Summer read they were sure to be tested on first week back, though next to none of the others had likely even glanced at the pages. Brendon certainly hadn’t.

They sat in silence for a time, pages of The Chocolate War fluttering while his pencil scratched over a rough sketch sheet. The rhythmic pound of the basketball echoed up toward the tennis courts and sneakers shed rubber off crumbling black-top. Continue reading →

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CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

A serialized novel begun Jan 29th 2020. Here you can find links to the beginning and the most recent additions.

I: Prologue
II: Present
III: Yesteryears
IV: Yesteryears
V: Present

……….

L: Present
LI: Yesteryears
LII: Yesteryears
LIII: Present
LIV: Yesteryears

New chapters published every Wednesday!
Next up: Jul 7th 2021

FREE SHORT STORIES

THE BAYWATER & THE HURRICANE
(fantasy M/M)

WHAT SECRETS MIGHT REMAIN
(fantasy M/M)

TALL, DARK & HANDSOME
(contemporary M/M)

THE IMMORTAL LOVER OF LAKE PHANTA
(fantasy M/M)

ACROSS THAT OCEAN OF SAND
(fantasy M/M)

MY LIFE, HIS BREATH
(contemporary M/M)

POET’S BANE
(fantasy M/M)

What’s Up!

  • Canvas Blues – XCV: Present
  • Canvas Blues – XCIV: Present
  • Coffee & Conversation: How to keep your plots/stories from being repetitive?
  • Canvas Blues – XCIII: Yesteryears
  • Coffee & Conversation: How to critique someone else’s work?
  • Canvas Blues – XCII: Present

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