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Emmi Lawrence

~ MM Fantasy Romance Writer

Emmi  Lawrence

Tag Archives: prose

Canvas Blues – VII: Yesteryears

11 Wednesday Mar 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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adventure fantasy, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, Love, Mystery, Novel, prose, Publication, Romance, Short Fiction, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

VII: Yesteryears

Brendon’s first true art lesson came from Aunt Laurel, pink and purple threads inside her braids and a tattoo of a unicorn along her forearm, its horn twirling about her middle finger. Even at nine, Brendon knew the significance of that particular finger and he told Casey later in a fit of uncontrollable giggles. Casey made a decision right then, that he too would have tattoos, but around his middle finger would roam a dust cloud, blown up by a strong set of wheels and an impossibly long dirt road.

“I’ll hold it up! Like this! And this!” But he didn’t quite say to whom.

They jumped about Brendon’s room, atop his bed, doing somersaults into scattered toys until Brendon’s mom called for them to calm down or go outside. Outside it was, into the wilds of overgrown weeds that hid the ditches with black-eyed Susans and Queen Anne’s lace, into unsealed streets where cracks made their bikes bounce and rusted chains clicked in protest every few revolutions.

The humidity soared, but the wind whipped too fast for them to care.

They crash-landed at the dead-end of Grant’s Lorry Rd, where beer cans and red solo cups lay like treasures just under the trees. There Casey prattled on about tearing back down Lorry Road, where the straightaway would give him the speed before the slight bump.

“We’d fly across that thing! Bellies tickling.”

Brendon listened with one ear and a cocked head, but his attention remained on the trash high schoolers had left behind in their drunken haze. He picked at a bit of cloth, lacy pink around its navy edges. Then crinkled his nose when he realized what he held.

“Ewww.”

Casey came to investigate. “She lost her briefs. Dad says anyone who can’t keep a hold of her briefs is an easy cow and deserves a right good tipping.”

“What’s tipping?”

“I don’t know.” Casey thought hard, then answered. “Probably mooing at her. Dad said something about a guy mooing a girl where he works once.”

Brendon nodded like that made all the sense in the world, and in his mind there came a woman who looked like his Aunt Laurel, pink and purple threads in her dark braids, a man in the vague shape of Casey’s dad mooing at her. The image made him laugh.

Later, he’d draw a picture of the story, but didn’t really understand the hurt look in his aunt’s eyes. After all, he’d listened to her, hadn’t he? He’d shown her the places he’d pressed harder to make a color darker and lighter to make a color paler. But though she smiled and told him he’d done a good job, the hurt didn’t go away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter!

Coffee & Conversation: Do you hoard anything and, if so, what is it?

09 Monday Mar 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Coffee & Conversation

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Tags

answer, books, FAQ, Houndmaster, notebooks, novels, prose, question, reading, story, Writing

Notebooks! All the notebooks!

This is assuming you don’t mean books. Assuming that hoarding books is as natural as breathing for anyone who reads (and who actually has space) and that using books would be a cop out for that reason.

So my answer is notebooks. I have far, far too many. There are some people who only buy a notebook when they need one. Others who might grab a couple and keep them on hand. I have probably close to 200. And that’s just a guess because I’m not counting.

To be fair, not all of them are large. Some are super tiny, like index card size, and some are even smaller, talking you could string them on your keychain if you wanted, or stuff them in your pocket. I have one shelf that is two layered deep in unwritten-in notebooks because it’s shorter/smaller notebooks in the back and an extra layer of those super tiny ones in the front.

I’ve got spiral-bound ones, glued ones, some with locks, some with leather ties, some with recycled paper, some with glitter. I’ve even got one with a furry cover. Some were super cheap. A few not so much. Many were presents. It’s a go-to gift for me for a lot of people because they know that notebooks are always appreciated no matter what size/shape/style, especially so if they’re pretty.

Whenever I get knee-deep in a new novel idea or start a new challenge or just need to hit the refresh button on my mind, I’ll go sift through my notebooks to find one that fits the idea I have just right.

The one for my Houndmaster books is a floppy green that used to have a tie but it broke because I used it so much.

The one I’ve set aside for my shaman stories if I ever get to them is a pale blue folded cover with wood rods keeping it shut.

The one for Canvas Blues is a spiral-bound plain tan one that had hard covers so I could write short ‘yesteryear’ pieces whenever I was out and about.

The one for my poems was a gift. Feels like leather, but is probably fake, has a cute lock-clasp and a stone embedded on the front cover.

The one I used (but haven’t touched in years) for my DaSunder Chronicles is a smaller gold mottled, hard-covered notebook that reminded me of the desert.

It’s an obsession. But I guess it’s better than say, food wrappers or nail clipping or anything equally gross.

~Emmi

Canvas Blues – VI: Yesteryears

04 Wednesday Mar 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

adventure fantasy, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, Publication, Romance, Short Fiction, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

VI: Yesteryears

Most of Brendon’s early work depicted dinosaurs. Stick-legs and fat heads with lolling eyes and tongues sometimes longer than the creature’s body. When eight, during a spring break from elementary school, Casey came over. Still young enough to not know the difference between a Camaro and a Firebird, yet old enough to mimic the revving of the engine and boasting a nose that could identify brands of beer by scent alone, Casey came with uncut hair and khaki shorts to spread himself across Brendon’s bed, sweaty skin an irrelevance in those short-lived days.

“Why do you have a T-Rex on your ceiling?”

“It’s a giganotosaurus.”

“What’s the difference?”

Brendon rolled his eyes with casual affront. “Everything.”

But Casey wasn’t interested in those differences. In fact, Casey wasn’t interested in anything but the bin of knock-off metal cars that had an occasional marker tucked within.

“You have a fire truck! And this car… My dad says those ’83 ‘vette motors are crap to work on, like picking around at bones and hoping for muscle to grow.” He tossed the shiny black car over his shoulder dismissively.

Brendon didn’t know what that meant, but he didn’t want Casey to know that. So cars became the rule of conversation. They’d play racing, shoving cars across the shaggy carpet that their little wheels could not withstand. They’d lay tracks out of old blocks and mountains out of clothes to drive straight up, switchbacks a thing of the nonsensical adult world and not logical child-thinking. The dinosaurs came out, here…and there. In an apocalyptic land where Mad Max roamed or in an epic superhero time travel episode.

The dinosaur drawings on Brendon’s wall slowly swapped out for intricately detailed cars that Casey would critique in loving detail, his eyes alight and his words a tumble. At the time, Brendon just enjoyed the warmth that spawned from the appreciation of his art.

Eight years later, Casey first kissed Brendon in the front seat of a cheap, run-ragged Mustang with the engine purring and an indie rock band Casey loved playing from the small speaker of his iPod. No dinosaurs to speak of, unless one counted the car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter!

Coffee & Conversation: What would you do differently if you know no one would judge you?

02 Monday Mar 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Coffee & Conversation

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answer, FAQ, prose, question, write, Writing

I wouldn’t feel the need to use a pen name. Wouldn’t feel the need to keep my writing to myself. I would talk about it openly among family and friends rather than vaguely.

The bulk of my family is heavily religious with some of them being the judgemental kind. Many are against the LGBT community. Many are against sexual activity in general. Many are misogynistic.

To give an example, I want to go into a story.

I write under two different pen names, this one where I feel free, feel as if I can write and publish and do whatever I want, when I want, how I want. Some people give me poor reviews, but I don’t read them, I don’t care. People are welcome to dislike my work because I’m doing something I enjoy doing and a stranger’s poor opinion isn’t going to take away this little pocket of freedom I claim. Continue reading →

Canvas Blues – V: Present

26 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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adventure fantasy, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, LGBT, long-reads, Love, Mystery, Novel, prose, Publication, Romance, Short Fiction, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

V: Present

“Is there something wrong with my painting?” asked Brendon. Another might have asked “Who are you?” or “What are you doing in my studio?” and been right to do so, but Brendon’s attention zeroed in on that package, the bubble wrap an annoyance, blocking what it protected.

Could it be the garden scene, the Alice and company, complete with teapots and cookies and the recipient’s grandchildren seated between Carroll’s creations? Or possibly the cemetery that had morphed into a galactic battle cruiser, the man’s soul a stretching thing reaching beyond the solar system? It could not possibly be the starry nightscape, the one with equatorial constellations he’d spent weeks researching for a homesick immigrant.

The man’s expression did not change, his grimness potentially painted on. He had pleasant angles, the sort that made him interesting, for the shadows cut across his face rather sharply.

“My name is Orion Livesey. I work for Wendy Arpsol.”

Brendon mouthed the name, though his mind lingered on Mr. Livesey’s angles. He glanced at his open sketchbook. “I’ve never done work for a Wendy Arpsol.”

“No. You wouldn’t have. The painting was a gift of sorts.”

Now Brendon dismissed him with a wave though he’d already drawn five lines, ghosts of angles on the page. “I don’t do refunds through third parties. You’ll have to take this up directly with my client.”

“I can’t. He’s dead.”

Brendon sagged slightly. “I’m sorry to hear that, but the painting then would belong to his estate.”

“You don’t understand.” Mr. Livesey strode closer, his steps purposeful, one hand going into the pocket of his suit jacket. “The painting is dangerous. It needs to be kept somewhere it can do no more harm.”

Brendon looked between Mr. Livesey and the nondescript package. His eyebrows rose slowly as he contemplated what he might possibly say in response.

Mr. Livesey sighed, his grimness replaced with a sense of foreboding reluctance. He took in Brendon’s entire workspace with a practiced eye, his gaze never lingering on any one thing, but not missing the stale sandwich and plethora of half-finished water bottles. Then the corner of his mouth tugged like it wanted to remember how to smile.

“May I buy you some real lunch?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter!

Coffee & Conversation: What was your worst word mishap?

24 Monday Feb 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Coffee & Conversation

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Tags

answer, essay, FAQ, mistakes, prose, question, story, words, writer, Writing

Most writers have their arch nemesis, those fickle words that just won’t appear on the screen properly. Backwards vowels, missing letters, a correct spelling that ultimately is the demise of the sentence because it’s the wrong, freaking word.

When reading over work, especially your own, it’s easy for your eyes to fill in the missing gaps, rearrange words into a proper order, even delete instances of times when mistakes like “the-the” occur. This is one of the reasons a writer needs to set aside a book for long enough to forget the word structure or have someone else look the story over.

Here’s a short list of some of my most common mistakes, the ones that I can remember off the top of my head because they happen so often. This list is not comprehensive and I have done much, much worse, up to and including typing in rhyming words or even typing a synonym or close-to a synonym in place of the word I wanted to write. Continue reading →

Canvas Blues – IV: Yesteryears

19 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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adventure fantasy, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, Publication, Romance, Short Fiction, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

IV: Yesteryears

The day Brendon was born, a thunderstorm rolling in during a late June afternoon, the oil from a diesel had spread across the parking lot, a snake wound tight at one end and slippery, whipcord at the other. A dark rainbow patterned the asphalt and stuck to the bottom of his mother’s sneakers. She tripped on the way in, in between contractions, and though she didn’t fall, her stomach heaved and the diaper bag filled with newborn outfits spilled off his father’s shoulder and into the slick as he jerked to catch her.

Inside, in the corner of a labor and delivery room, that same diaper bag sat in an out-of-the-way corner, rainbow oil seeping up through cotton threads to bless a never-before-worn onesie with color goodness and a painter’s spirit. It had dried by the time his father changed Brendon into it over in the maternity ward, the dark smear almost unnoticeable against the navy fabric, and besides, the rest of the clothes had long since been smeared with worse things of a biological nature.

His mother later claimed it was a fairy, or faerie were Brendon in trouble, that had flown by and kissed Brendon’s fat baby thighs and spindly fingers to grant him such an artistic nature. He had a stork’s kiss, a puckered splatter of darker skin, that ran just under his hipbone and curled in the shape of a sickle, or a moon, or a fingernail, or the curving keel of a ship’s bow cutting up from the water, or the gentle sloping of a river, or the trajectory of a hummingbird’s wing, or…

Brendon’s mother could and did make up a hundred different ideas of what that patch of skin might represent and he took them into his heart, one after the other, where they blossomed from his fingertips on bath tile walls and later from the end of cheap, splitting bristles bought from a dollar store.

She’d say it was a fairy who kissed him and brought his talent, but he knew better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter!

Coffee & Conversation: Do you know how to ride a bike?

17 Monday Feb 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Coffee & Conversation

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Tags

answers, Canvas Blues, childhood, essay, FAQ, prose, question, Writing

While writing Canvas Blues, I had scenes with Brendon as a child riding his bike and while it wasn’t in any way a catalyst for the story, those pieces came from all the neighborhood bike riding I did as a child. That was back when knee pads and helmets were lol-what? to most people. I don’t even think I owned any protection, yet we were given free rein on our streets.

There’s actually a lot of leaning on my own life, where I grew up, that plays into Canvas Blues. And though the story is just starting on your end and bike riding isn’t exactly a plot point, it had a lot to do with linking certain places in the Past/Yesteryears timeline for Brendon.

So, yes, I know how to ride a bike. I don’t own one right now :( But it’s on the list of things I’d like to get one day. That elusive one day that may or may not become today at some point. Maybe I’ll ask Santa for one for Christmas. Or something. XD

~Emmi

Canvas Blues – III: Yesteryears

12 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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adventure fantasy, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, Publication, Romance, Short Fiction, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

III: Yesteryears

Brendon Kotes grew up in a small house in rural Maryland, just a few miles from the bay, but on the wrong side, where the money landed in patches rather than wide swatches of world. He hadn’t landed in money, per se, but he had landed with something infinitely better: two loving parents and a couple of straight-laced older siblings who gave him just enough rope to explore, but not enough to hang.

Not like Casey Mattingly, whose older sister introduced him to drag racing and the smoky after parties that tasted more of rubber and pisswater beer rather than the freedom he claimed. Casey fell, again and again, like a rock desperate to sink into the bay. And when that first crevice did not go deep enough, he’d find a new one, a better one, a darker one, until he settled in the deepest trench and no amount of hands could drag him out.

Where there’s one side, there’s always another.

Robbie Frey lived in one of those patches of wealth, with a boat slip and a jaguar under his own name before he turned eighteen. Possibly a bit overboard in terms of spending at times, with a dabbing of debt to hang on his kitchen corkboard, but all in all, a good fellow with a decent job who only stayed up too late on the weekends sometimes, who had only skipped his homework occasionally, and tried his best not to be late to work, but traffic happens.

A good sort. A balance to Casey’s insistent calls of freedom and open road. For who needs traffic at seven thirty in the morning on a bright spring day when one could have long stretches of tarmac to squeal down during moonlit hours of humid glory?

Robbie did, that’s who. But not Casey.

And not Brendon either, but it was years before he realized he didn’t need that long stretch of tarmac either. Didn’t need the car, the drive, the steady job or the transient races.

Just a good sable brush and the inkling of an idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter!

Coffee & Conversation: What is the fastest way to get you bored?

10 Monday Feb 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Coffee & Conversation

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Tags

FAQ, prose, reading, Writing

This question is interesting in that under normal circumstances where things remain in my own control I won’t ever get bored. I can find things to occupy my time and have zero problem having times where I just sit and do nothing as a way to relax.

On the other hand, certain books, types of conversations, and obligatory events are a different subset of situations altogether.

In a book, the fastest way for me to be bored is for there to be no tension. When the story doesn’t exist but as a conduit to describe, describe, describe with no direction. When there’s dialogue that goes round and round but never gets anywhere or only repeats tired ideas that are decidedly lacking in wit, yet the characters are thinking themselves witty. Another way for me to have the potential to become bored is when there’s too many jumps, usually in characters, where I’m forced to essentially “restart” the process of becoming interested because all that came before has suddenly disappeared.

In conversations, the way to get me bored isn’t to monopolize the topic, though that can get old after awhile, I usually like seeing the passion other people exhibit when they’re talking about something they love. It’s when my words are dismissed unilaterally, my opinions considered irrelevant and any attempts I make at being part of the conversation thrown out. Interrupting me constantly will also make me check out of the conversation. If you indicate that you have so little regard for me and just want to monologue, then why not talk to a wall?

As for obligatory events…this is when it would be rude for me to pull out a book to fill the time, leading to me to sitting up straight and doing my best to pay attention, to be polite, because if I’m there it’s because I must care and I’ll do my best to show it. That doesn’t mean I’m not bored sitting in the middle of the wedding attendees where no one can hear the bride and groom exchange their vows and so we just sit there and pretend we’re not bored. It happens.

Luckily, I’m not one to get bored normally. I have a TBR list a mile long and most of the books are sitting over my head right now. If I’ve got nothing to write, nothing to edit or nothing to do otherwise, I’ll always have something to read.

~Emmi

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CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

A serialized novel begun Jan 29th 2020. Here you can find links to the beginning and the most recent additions.

I: Prologue
II: Present
III: Yesteryears
IV: Yesteryears
V: Present

……….

L: Present
LI: Yesteryears
LII: Yesteryears
LIII: Present
LIV: Yesteryears

New chapters published every Wednesday!
Next up: Jul 7th 2021

FREE SHORT STORIES

THE BAYWATER & THE HURRICANE
(fantasy M/M)

WHAT SECRETS MIGHT REMAIN
(fantasy M/M)

TALL, DARK & HANDSOME
(contemporary M/M)

THE IMMORTAL LOVER OF LAKE PHANTA
(fantasy M/M)

ACROSS THAT OCEAN OF SAND
(fantasy M/M)

MY LIFE, HIS BREATH
(contemporary M/M)

POET’S BANE
(fantasy M/M)

What’s Up!

  • Canvas Blues – XCV: Present
  • Canvas Blues – XCIV: Present
  • Coffee & Conversation: How to keep your plots/stories from being repetitive?
  • Canvas Blues – XCIII: Yesteryears
  • Coffee & Conversation: How to critique someone else’s work?
  • Canvas Blues – XCII: Present

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