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Emmi Lawrence

~ MM Fantasy Romance Writer

Emmi  Lawrence

Category Archives: Contemporary

Canvas Blues – V: Present

26 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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adventure fantasy, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, LGBT, long-reads, Love, Mystery, Novel, prose, Publication, Romance, Short Fiction, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

V: Present

“Is there something wrong with my painting?” asked Brendon. Another might have asked “Who are you?” or “What are you doing in my studio?” and been right to do so, but Brendon’s attention zeroed in on that package, the bubble wrap an annoyance, blocking what it protected.

Could it be the garden scene, the Alice and company, complete with teapots and cookies and the recipient’s grandchildren seated between Carroll’s creations? Or possibly the cemetery that had morphed into a galactic battle cruiser, the man’s soul a stretching thing reaching beyond the solar system? It could not possibly be the starry nightscape, the one with equatorial constellations he’d spent weeks researching for a homesick immigrant.

The man’s expression did not change, his grimness potentially painted on. He had pleasant angles, the sort that made him interesting, for the shadows cut across his face rather sharply.

“My name is Orion Livesey. I work for Wendy Arpsol.”

Brendon mouthed the name, though his mind lingered on Mr. Livesey’s angles. He glanced at his open sketchbook. “I’ve never done work for a Wendy Arpsol.”

“No. You wouldn’t have. The painting was a gift of sorts.”

Now Brendon dismissed him with a wave though he’d already drawn five lines, ghosts of angles on the page. “I don’t do refunds through third parties. You’ll have to take this up directly with my client.”

“I can’t. He’s dead.”

Brendon sagged slightly. “I’m sorry to hear that, but the painting then would belong to his estate.”

“You don’t understand.” Mr. Livesey strode closer, his steps purposeful, one hand going into the pocket of his suit jacket. “The painting is dangerous. It needs to be kept somewhere it can do no more harm.”

Brendon looked between Mr. Livesey and the nondescript package. His eyebrows rose slowly as he contemplated what he might possibly say in response.

Mr. Livesey sighed, his grimness replaced with a sense of foreboding reluctance. He took in Brendon’s entire workspace with a practiced eye, his gaze never lingering on any one thing, but not missing the stale sandwich and plethora of half-finished water bottles. Then the corner of his mouth tugged like it wanted to remember how to smile.

“May I buy you some real lunch?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter!

Canvas Blues – IV: Yesteryears

19 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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adventure fantasy, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, Publication, Romance, Short Fiction, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

IV: Yesteryears

The day Brendon was born, a thunderstorm rolling in during a late June afternoon, the oil from a diesel had spread across the parking lot, a snake wound tight at one end and slippery, whipcord at the other. A dark rainbow patterned the asphalt and stuck to the bottom of his mother’s sneakers. She tripped on the way in, in between contractions, and though she didn’t fall, her stomach heaved and the diaper bag filled with newborn outfits spilled off his father’s shoulder and into the slick as he jerked to catch her.

Inside, in the corner of a labor and delivery room, that same diaper bag sat in an out-of-the-way corner, rainbow oil seeping up through cotton threads to bless a never-before-worn onesie with color goodness and a painter’s spirit. It had dried by the time his father changed Brendon into it over in the maternity ward, the dark smear almost unnoticeable against the navy fabric, and besides, the rest of the clothes had long since been smeared with worse things of a biological nature.

His mother later claimed it was a fairy, or faerie were Brendon in trouble, that had flown by and kissed Brendon’s fat baby thighs and spindly fingers to grant him such an artistic nature. He had a stork’s kiss, a puckered splatter of darker skin, that ran just under his hipbone and curled in the shape of a sickle, or a moon, or a fingernail, or the curving keel of a ship’s bow cutting up from the water, or the gentle sloping of a river, or the trajectory of a hummingbird’s wing, or…

Brendon’s mother could and did make up a hundred different ideas of what that patch of skin might represent and he took them into his heart, one after the other, where they blossomed from his fingertips on bath tile walls and later from the end of cheap, splitting bristles bought from a dollar store.

She’d say it was a fairy who kissed him and brought his talent, but he knew better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter!

Canvas Blues – III: Yesteryears

12 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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adventure fantasy, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, Publication, Romance, Short Fiction, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

III: Yesteryears

Brendon Kotes grew up in a small house in rural Maryland, just a few miles from the bay, but on the wrong side, where the money landed in patches rather than wide swatches of world. He hadn’t landed in money, per se, but he had landed with something infinitely better: two loving parents and a couple of straight-laced older siblings who gave him just enough rope to explore, but not enough to hang.

Not like Casey Mattingly, whose older sister introduced him to drag racing and the smoky after parties that tasted more of rubber and pisswater beer rather than the freedom he claimed. Casey fell, again and again, like a rock desperate to sink into the bay. And when that first crevice did not go deep enough, he’d find a new one, a better one, a darker one, until he settled in the deepest trench and no amount of hands could drag him out.

Where there’s one side, there’s always another.

Robbie Frey lived in one of those patches of wealth, with a boat slip and a jaguar under his own name before he turned eighteen. Possibly a bit overboard in terms of spending at times, with a dabbing of debt to hang on his kitchen corkboard, but all in all, a good fellow with a decent job who only stayed up too late on the weekends sometimes, who had only skipped his homework occasionally, and tried his best not to be late to work, but traffic happens.

A good sort. A balance to Casey’s insistent calls of freedom and open road. For who needs traffic at seven thirty in the morning on a bright spring day when one could have long stretches of tarmac to squeal down during moonlit hours of humid glory?

Robbie did, that’s who. But not Casey.

And not Brendon either, but it was years before he realized he didn’t need that long stretch of tarmac either. Didn’t need the car, the drive, the steady job or the transient races.

Just a good sable brush and the inkling of an idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter!

Canvas Blues – II: Present

05 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

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Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, Romance, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

II: Present

When he thought about it, Brendon wasn’t sure whether things had started with Robbie. Or before that, with Casey. Maybe everything had started some inconsequential day, not worthy of remembrance, lost in a simpler time.

When he thought about it again, Brendon realized that no matter what might have happened with Casey, with Robbie, with his parents, his aunt or his favorite art teacher in middle school, that the day things had truly begun was the day he’d met Orion Livesey.

He’d been working at his larger easel, on a painting that would be a bayscape, part of the bottom cut away to reveal the clams and crabs clambering about the shallows. He had a stack of photos nearby, some hung up on wire, so he might reference the shape and size of crab pincers and the curves and crevices of living clams.

The far windows were open to let in a breeze that wouldn’t disturb his work and he’d propped the heavy door to the studio to allow the air to flow. Music, Bach and Handel and Mozart, played quietly on repeat on an ancient, paint-stained player on the floor by the outlet. He remembered the day well, down to the minutia. He could have painted the moment, though he never did.

So engrossed in his work, breath held to keep his arm steady, Brendon didn’t realize anyone was with him until that someone cleared his throat.

Brendon released the breath he’d been holding in a startled exhale that smoothed across the fresh strokes. Then he turned.

The first thing Brendon noted was the package under the man’s arm, layers of bubble wrap and cloth. Only then did his gaze skip up to the man himself.

The stranger was tall, without being lanky, and held himself carefully, every motion calculated, like math. He wore a grim expression, the kind Brendon would have painted on a background figure looking on during a morose scene, just enough emotion to give a hint, but not enough to draw the eye or become the focal. He suspected that this man represented that ideal: always there, but never at the forefront.

“You’re Brendon Kotes.” He did not seem to be asking.

Brendon shrugged and tipped the brush back from the canvas so he wouldn’t inadvertently smear the paint. He found himself holding his breath again as the man laid his package on the long wooden table.

“I’ve come to return a painting.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter!

Canvas Blues – I: Prologue

29 Wednesday Jan 2020

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, Fantasy, M/M, Serial

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

adventure fantasy, Canvas Blues, Fantasy, fantasy romance, Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Mystery, Novel, prose, Romance, Writing

CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

I: Prologue

There once was a man who could paint.

He drew globs of acrylic and oil about canvas, across wood, within concrete cracks and fabric that sucked the paint and nudged it along specific threads of cotton and wool. He used colors of lapis, of emerald and periwinkle. Ivory rather than white; ebony rather than black. He’d call his blends by emotion, this one here the quick, sticky sadness of a dropped ice cream on a warm summer day, while this other the laughter one feels when it grows and grows, pushing at your throat, tapping at the back of your teeth, yet fizzles before it can erupt.

He held his breath as he drew fine lines and thick, or curved strokes and straight. He held his breath often enough it became second nature as a way to steady not only his hand, but his heart, his head. And only when done could he exhale, releasing any indecision, careful attention or concern.

It was as if, in that moment of exhale, when he blew hot breath across fresh paint and new choices, a piece of him enveloped his art. A cloud, of condensed care and longing, ghosting across new faces, open settings, to settle on the chemicals as liquids turned to solids.

There once was a man who could paint. And in his paintings, there grew life from his breath.

And there grew death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter

My Life, His Breath

01 Sunday Jul 2018

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, M/M, Short Story

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Tags

Erotica, fantasy romance, Fiction, Flash, gay romance, LGBT, Love, M/M, prose, Romance, Short Fiction, Writing

We played a game that summer, one both dangerous and arousing. That lake—crystal blue and quiet—held secrets of our trysts, hiding those breath-swallowing moments within the silt and grasses. Every second, every touch and tightening grip, emblazoned itself upon my memory. For he held a power to him, a charisma I could never resist.

Whatever game he created, I would have said yes.

This one took a turn during the heat of July, when the sun sweat circles on our shirts and cooked the water level down half a foot. Dan, with his bright green eyes and daring smile, grabbed my hand before I could dive off the pier.

“How long can you hold your breath?”

About as long as anyone, I presumed, but I shrugged in response, anticipation tingling up my spine.

He leaned closer, a drop of sweat leaking down his temple. I wanted to lick it off, taste the salt upon his skin, flavored with a masculine scent no lake could wash clean. His voice became a deep whisper of suggestion.

“Want to find out?”

I never did need to say yes to him. Not in June when he’d winked at me across the parking lot at the camp ground. Not last week when he’d groped his own crotch when he caught me neglecting my fishing rod in order to stare in his direction. Not two nights ago when he snuck into my tent with a fat stack of condoms and a need that shook his fingers. And not today.

He pushed me off the pier with a laugh, his palms hotter than my skin. I gasped as I hit the water, sending a splash across the pilings. He stood above me when I surfaced, unrepentant and cocky, his hands on his hips. I could stand there, the tips of my toes curling against slick rocks that had already sliced our feet open during our first weeks at the camp.

“I’m going to find out,” he said, then he dropped his hands and stepped forward.

I jerked to the side to avoid getting hit as Dan came leaping into the lake. He didn’t surface after the water splashed against my face, but the lake, as bright as it was on the surface, was nigh impenetrable underneath so I couldn’t see where he’d gone. I fished about, searching for him, anticipating him yanking my shorts or tickling my balls.

Instead, he surfaced near the last piling. Green eyes sparkling as he blinked water off his eyelids, he grinned at me with surefire need on his face. The devil in him, I’d seen it. Loved it. So none of that warning scared me away.

I swam for him, chasing him into the lake. He swam backstroke, laughing at me as I gave chase. A need rose up inside, a need I was familiar with. The same need he had reflected in his eyes. One that shone brightly, brighter even than the sun.

This was us. This is what we had become. Lusty and focused and drawn to dark desires. Continue reading →

In the Darkest Hours

03 Sunday Jun 2018

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, M/M, Short Story

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Tags

Author's Notes, Fiction, Flash, gay romance, LGBT, Love, M/M, prose, Romance, Short Fiction, Writing

I lay in that bed. The sheets cold. The heater off. Winter at its depth. A chill seeping in through the bottom of the door. A whistling outside the window. The stars beyond covered with clouds. And the light from the streetlamp creating a glaze upon the glass, a frosted smudge.

I lay there. Waiting. Wondering if he would return. My mind too focused on that question, as often as it seemed to come.

There’d always been a swath of feeling when that doorknob finally turned. When the keys jangled as he cursed the fact they were stuck once more and wouldn’t turn without much coaxing. Even now, I wondered at it. Had it been relief? All those times. All those hours, waiting, wondering, unable to sleep until I heard him arrive home.

He’d been warm when he entered the bed. A heater. A furnace. And even though I hadn’t been cold, I’d turned into him. Felt the hair upon his arm tickle against my shoulder. Hear his annoyed grunt as he shifted away from the stubble on my chin. We never stayed like that. Never woke up entangled in each other’s arms. Always broke apart sometime in the darkest hours before dawn and never found one another again.

I wondered if that was where this feeling crept from. The darkest hours before dawn. Waiting to see if this time he wouldn’t return. If this time, he kept his foot on the pedal, drove past our building, onto empty highways that would lead down a different path.

And for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out if the feeling that swept over my body, tingling through my veins when that doorknob turned, wasn’t relief after all, but disappointment. Or even dread. That I would hear his irritated sighs. His exhausted groan as he turned over in the sheets. The blanket tugging, feeling far colder than any empty bed.

I thought back to when we’d first met. When I’d been working on the corner. Serving food and drink in the evening hours after classes. When I’d hide flashcards in my apron and study as the hours grew long and the tables empty.

He’d come in, like clockwork. Thursdays. Always Thursdays when the beers were cheap and the smoke lifted above the bar so thick it was visible from outside the windows.

Work meetings, he claimed. His fellows were coworkers and the conversations easy and comfortable. Networking, he murmured later with an exhausted smile and lips that held the scent of spicy wings I’d served earlier. We’d speak, at first just small talk. About the weather, hot and cold. Him asking about the classes I took and wondering over job openings he saw. That was how we got to working together. Me, grabbing a hold of his offer to toss my resume to hiring managers in his office.

How long had he been planning on wooing me? How long until I finally realized what he was after? How long until I’d wanted him in return? Continue reading →

Tall, Dark & Handsome

03 Sunday Sep 2017

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, M/M, Short Story

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Fiction, gay romance, LGBT, long-reads, Love, M/M, Promotion, prose, Romance, Sale, Short Fiction, Writing

Every coffee shop needs three things: black coffee, free Wi-Fi and a hot barista. The trifecta for all our caffeine-addicted, lust-driven and connectivity issues.

Perfection is not easy to find.

That place off Mackle Street has spotty internet. The cafe down on the corner of Humble Way and 4th has burnt coffee and a stream of loud teens. The place a street off of that—Cloud Coffee and Tea—is so quiet you’ll know every bit of drama between the two baristas before an hour is out.

The discovery of the century is this narrow cafe called Tall, Dark & Handsome—or TDH to us regulars. The windows have navy blue, yet sheer, curtains that both let in the light but stop nosy window gazers from seeing computer screens. The hum of activity, while just a murmur, is enough to give a sense of cover. The tables are small but rounded, hard wood yet curved comfortably, obviously meant to entice a person to sit for long lengths of time because they don’t numb backsides or leave lines of pain behind the knees.

Small shelves, each filled with a spattering of books, are scattered throughout, some of the tables having them built into their single center legs. The unwritten rule is you take one, you leave another. One kind, though likely anal, older gentleman has taken it upon himself to keep those shelves sorted. There’s a fantasy and sci-fi table, another with romance and paranormals and two more with dramas and thrillers. The non-fiction fills the largest shelves by the bakery window.

The coffee beans are ground by hand in-house, the occasional humming of that pestle no where near as ear-splittingly painful as the machines in other places. The baristas make hot cocoa from scratch as well, their pots of melted chocolate and warm milk a constant aphrodisiac.

They wouldn’t be, if it weren’t for the lean specimen of male beauty always standing behind that stove. He wears no name tag, though his apron is as black as his hair and his coffee-flavored eyes are as hypnotizing as the real thing. His smiles are brief, his attention briefer. His hands move deftly in their work, skills that likely translate well into the bedroom. His book bag is filled with computer and textbooks when he leaves at noon and the occasional overheard conversation puts him in law school.

A man like that is sure to be attached. His ability to be an ardent lover a byproduct of all that unwavering focus and intense ambition. How he must feel, hot and willing, sweet and strong, moving over his partners… Continue reading →

To the Sound of the Ocean

13 Sunday Jul 2014

Posted by Emmi Lawrence in Contemporary, M/F, Mini

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Tags

Erotica, Fiction, Love, Romance, Writing

 To the Sound of the Ocean

Copyright © Emmi Lawrence

All rights reserved. No part of this story may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without permission from the author.

(1100)

He found her swinging gently in the hammock. The ocean breeze coursed through the screens of the porch, carrying the cries of gulls and the tang of salt. Her sun-streaked hair curled in the humidity, falling heavily against the ropes. When she shifted drowsily, he could see the red lines where her thigh had been pressed against the hammock, her shorts riding up so he caught a glimpse of the floral bikini bottoms she wore.

Continue reading →

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CANVAS BLUES
Vignettes Regarding the Artwork of Brendon Kotes

A serialized novel begun Jan 29th 2020. Here you can find links to the beginning and the most recent additions.

I: Prologue
II: Present
III: Yesteryears
IV: Yesteryears
V: Present

……….

L: Present
LI: Yesteryears
LII: Yesteryears
LIII: Present
LIV: Yesteryears

New chapters published every Wednesday!
Next up: Jul 7th 2021

FREE SHORT STORIES

THE BAYWATER & THE HURRICANE
(fantasy M/M)

WHAT SECRETS MIGHT REMAIN
(fantasy M/M)

TALL, DARK & HANDSOME
(contemporary M/M)

THE IMMORTAL LOVER OF LAKE PHANTA
(fantasy M/M)

ACROSS THAT OCEAN OF SAND
(fantasy M/M)

MY LIFE, HIS BREATH
(contemporary M/M)

POET’S BANE
(fantasy M/M)

What’s Up!

  • Canvas Blues – XCV: Present
  • Canvas Blues – XCIV: Present
  • Coffee & Conversation: How to keep your plots/stories from being repetitive?
  • Canvas Blues – XCIII: Yesteryears
  • Coffee & Conversation: How to critique someone else’s work?
  • Canvas Blues – XCII: Present

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