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Do you have any writing rituals?


Look, here I’m sitting down, with my netbook. It’s even plugged in. Won’t die on me. Got my document open. Got my notebook for this novel sitting next to me. Ready to go.

Oh, wait. What are you doing, you silly netbook? Let me see my word document. Oh, you’re trying to run a diagnostic. Okay, sweetie, you’re not plugged up to the internet. This isn’t going to work. Look, I’ve pushed the X button about ten times now. Why won’t it close?? I can’t see my document. CLOSE, DAMNIT.

No, not my document… sigh.

Okay, I’m ready now. Diagnostic has failed spectacularly and wandered out of sight.

Meow. Meoooow!

Oh, hi there.

Yes, I wanted your butt in my face. Oh, plhhff, thank you for the tail in my face as well. I can’t see my document again. Can you please find a comfy spot; I need to get to work. FIND A SPOT. Okay. No, that’s not good enough? What about there, huh? That’s no good either. Okay, let me just make myself as uncomfortable as possible. Okay, this is goo–

Ookay then. Good-bye. Can I write now?

(Your battery is at 1%)

What?? But it’s plugged in. Fine, I’ll wiggle all the cords until the power is happy. Happy now? Charging?

NOW can I write??

Where’d my pencil go? Cat!