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Coffee & Conversation: What’s the quickest way to make you crazy in a romance?

22 Monday Feb 2021

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What’s the quickest way to make you crazy in a romance story?

Most of my stories, particularly the novels, have multiple plot threads: a romantic one intertwined with an adventure or mystery. Some lean more on the romance arc; some lean more on the adventure arc; some are pretty even-handed. One of the great advantages to having a second arc intertwined with the romance is that I can use outside forces that might push the characters together/apart and craft interpersonal conflict via the adventure or mystery aspect of the story. This is something that romance writers who have sole romance plot arcs aren’t able to do.

When you can’t use outer journeys or adventurous conflicts to interact with the interpersonal conflict of the romance, there’s a serious limit when crafting the necessary interpersonal conflicts. This can mean that a lot of the interpersonal romantic plots can feel over-used and rehashed and trope-reliant rather than fresh and fun. This limiting number of conflicts can also mean that some authors reach for whatever is easiest, no matter that it might be completely nonsensical and that something far and away better might exist if they’d bothered to push themselves.

One of my least favorite romance “conflicts” is the ridiculous reliance on a silly misunderstanding. You know the type—the kind that could be cleared up with ONE SINGLE ADULT CONVERSION.

That, to me, isn’t conflict. Or, if you call it conflict, it’s the weakest, frailest, lamest conflict ever to exist in the entire adult fiction world. A misunderstanding should not be the backbone of an entire romantic plot. A misunderstanding should never be the catalyst for a story.

Misunderstandings should be used sparingly and only for tiny threads within the entire plot. If they are even used at all. The best use of misunderstandings (imo) is comedic beats, to elicit a momentary smile from the reader.

The second best use is to indicate something larger at play. A good example of this is the lemon scene in the movie The Breakup, where the male lead only gets a couple lemons when the female lead wanted a lot more—this is a great example of using a misunderstanding to represent a much larger, difficult problem that exists rather than having the lemons themselves be the problem. (Also, using a sour fruit in the scene was an epic choice for symbolism.)

But yes, the quickest way (or at least one of them at any rate) to make me crazy is to have the entire plot of a romance be completely centered on a fake conflict that could be easily solved within a single chapter. Making the rest of the novel utterly eye-rolly.

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversation: What is the most romantic way to propose?

15 Monday Feb 2021

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What is the most romantic way to propose?

Proposals don’t happen often in my books, or if they do, they aren’t exactly typical proposals in the same way we think of them in the Western world. Though they would be some variation of asking to spend the rest of one’s life with a person.

Because most of my stories take place in secondary world settings where culture might be slightly different, the definition of romantic might change as well. Now, most of the time, I lean toward familiarity because there’s such thing as a strangeness budget, which just means there’s only so much strange a reader can take before they frustrated. If I’m going to demanding a reader learn about a new world with new rules and different fantastical, magical elements, I might not push too hard on cultural differences. But I’d try to do small changes.

this means that what might be the most romantic way to prose in one story might not equate to the most romantic way in another.

Another element that needs to be addressed is the personality differences in characters. This is more basic and familiar because not everyone likes the same things even in our modern world; so while one person might think a proposal in Paris at the Eiffel Tower or in a gondola in Venice is the most romantic, another might think the summit of a hike or during sunset at the beach might be the most romantic.

This means for these types of questions, if indeed, a story deals with this moment, I have to consider the character and the culture and the world. Not to mention the circumstances (i.e., characters are about to die and thus one proposes in case they don’t make it or to give incentive to survive).

My favorite thing to do is to make the setting and situation meaningful to the characters. Whatever might evoke the most emotion in them, the most connection—and in doing so, hopefully the reader.

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversation: What do you daydream about?

08 Monday Feb 2021

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What do you daydream about?

A lot of writers are daydreamers, in the sense that sometimes they will stare off into space, crafting sequences and scenes with characters of their own making. It took a long time for me to realize that not everyone did this, that it was specific to certain types of creators and readers.

I’d often get the “Are you okay?” or “Is something wrong?” types of questions. Sometimes the person would add (after I said “Yes, I’m good” in some fashion) “No, something is obviously wrong because you’re not talking to anyone and you’ve got an annoyed look on your face.” When the annoyed look came from having my personal movie sequence playing in my mind interrupted by silly questions. I’m sure many of you can relate :)

As for the daydreams themselves, they are often ways to figure out plot points or character arcs, the characters pushed through different scenarios until one suddenly pops into place perfectly. Daydreams are also ways to pinpoint good emotional beats, so when the emotions resonate with the daydreamer powerfully enough, they know they’ve found a good one.

This tends to mean that the heightened moments in a story get daydreamed the most clearly. Maybe the final showdown in an action sequence. Or the moment of deepest despair. Or the settling of a romantic conflict. It’s like having the crux points of a story without the transitional information.

Which means that the transitions and the lead-up scenes are usually more difficult to write because they haven’t been as clearly daydreamed. The ultimate goal is to craft stories where everything feels important, even if a particular scene is a relaxing from an emotional high or a lessening of tension in order to slow the pace or give the reader a chance to catch their breath.

But ultimately, it’s the pivotal moments that we replay in our minds most often, whether as writers or readers or dreamers.

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversation: Where do you like to set first dates?

01 Monday Feb 2021

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Where do you like to set first dates?

First dates in novels don’t generally operate under the same rules as in real life.

There should still be the nerves, the anticipation, the tension during, but because in normal, everyday life two strangers aren’t usually that invested in one another immediately, there’s often precious little in the way of emotional stakes. This means that a novel has to work extra hard because there already needs to be stakes at hand (emotional or otherwise). In real life, a bad first date merely means there isn’t a second one. [Except in more extreme cases of stalking, rape, etc., but let’s say for sake of explanation that people are by and large not shitty.] In a novel, a bad first date needs to have more going on.

Which means that first dates in romance novels don’t tend to be right at the very beginning of the book. Some will have the characters slowly falling in love first through either random or arranged encounters. Some will have the first date as the first scene that operates to show a completely different set of stakes rather than romantic or emotional ones (i.e, guy keeps getting calls from boss and could lose his job if he doesn’t answer leading to a horrible first date—the reader is invested in the guy becoming a better person/getting a better, less-awful job, but not yet fully invested in the character’s romance). Some will have a secondary stake that is associated with the date (i.e., the characters are vying for the same goal, are roommates, or discover that they are connected in some fashion that may put them at odds, etc.) Continue reading →

Coffee & Conversation: Do you believe characters should kiss on the first date?

25 Monday Jan 2021

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For starters, most of my characters don’t generally have anything resembling a “first date.” I tend to put them in harrowing or stressful situations first that force them into working together. (Sorry, my beloved characters, for the many layers of hell I put you through!) (Not sorry!)

Which means a part of this question is a little more abstract for many of my stories. Maybe it should be “Do my characters kiss within the first day?” or “Do my characters kiss the first chance they get alone?” or “Do my characters think more about kissing than they do about whatever dangerous situation I’ve put them in?”

I actually had an editor once tell me that I needed more sexy thoughts in one of my novels. Like, there’s a WHOLE FEW CHAPTERS HE DOESN’T THINK ABOUT SEX! Must change that… In my defense, the poor guy was beat-up and suffering from a poisoning, so I didn’t think it was fair to ask me to put more sexy in that part of the story. [I did my best though.]

In general though, during my romances, I will often look at the story and find where and when makes sense for my characters to get together, which usually puts them needing to do all their kissing before and after the climactic scenes. Since my longer stories tend to have a strong adventure, action or mystery arc, that means that the resolution to those arcs happen first using a fast-paced climax.

It’s about opening and closing arcs in the proper order. For example:

{open romance arc [open mystery arc (open/close action arc) close mystery arc] close romance arc}

Or: Continue reading →

Coffee & Conversation: Have you ever written fan fiction?

18 Monday Jan 2021

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When I was a child I absolutely loved Brian Jacques’ Redwall books. For those of you who don’t know what those are, his books detail action adventure stories featuring small European animals, many of whom live in a large abbey called, you guessed it, Redwall.

So there are animals such as mice and badgers and squirrels on the good side and others such as rats and weasels and snakes on the bad side. (Some people talk about how awful it is that there isn’t more distinction, that how dare Jacques divide creatures into “good” and “bad” [even though there are many exceptions to this rule] but I find that obnoxious because it’s a CHILDREN’S SERIES—you want adult-level discussion and nuance, then READ ADULT FICTION. [I would also like to point out that many adult books, including ones touted as being transcendent in some fashion, are incredibly simplistic in their definitions of good and evil as well.]

With that tangent out of the way, my very first forays into writing were fan fiction based on Jacque’s books. Particularly poetry. I would craft snippets about the bits of story that didn’t get full accounting in the books. I would wonder about what happened after the adventure or war ended. I would draw pictures of my favorite characters and sob over the ones who died.

One particular couple in the stories I fell in love with was a mouse pair who, after their story, go out adventuring and exploring rather than settle into a quiet life at Redwall. I LOVED this. I wanted to be like them, specifically the female mouse who used a rope like a whip and took down creatures twice her size.

But we never got a story about them on their adventures after they left, so their future was left ambiguous. So I wrote a poem about them :) Talked about how they were out there, fighting and having adventures together. And, of course, had fallen even more completely in love with one another, because even when I was in elementary school that was part of my happily ever after.

I feel as if we all have those things that we grasped at during our youngest years, even if we didn’t know or understand them then. Things that come back and show us who we were meant to be, what we were meant to do. For me, those old, yellowing pages of mice and their poems are one of mine.

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversation: How important are looks to your characters’ relationships?

11 Monday Jan 2021

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This is a loaded question because of course there’s going to be some level of lust that occurs between two sexual beings based on their physical appearance.

[Were the story using asexual beings a la Good Omens this would be different, but still incredibly valid as a romance.]

That being said, looks don’t define attraction; they are merely one sliver of it, and an ethereal sliver at that since looks change as we age.

[Again, this would be different were I to write about a society where aging doesn’t occur the same way.]

I think it’s a cop-out to say “it depends” though that is the most real answer to the question. Some characters are going to be more hyper-focused on physical features—with each being attracted to different types of people—and others are going to lean more toward the non-physical, the actions a person takes, the personality under the skin, etc.

It’s more fun to have a range of different types of characters when writing novels, otherwise they begin to feel like the same story told over and over again. This extends to how the romance is sparked—whether it’s a first-sight lust that drives the characters originally, or whether the characters need time to come to appreciate one another.

There are two important things I think need to be touched on in a romance story:

One: There needs to be at least some level of physical attraction, unless the character is asexual. [However, I will likely keep asexual characters to my short stories as of now rather than my novels.]

Two: The relationship needs to grow beyond physical attraction so that the characters have a reason to remain together once the story is over.

Those are the not-very-hard-and-fast guidelines I think about when crafting a new romantic relationship. So, on a scale of 1-10 of how important a character’s looks are, it starts slightly higher at the beginning of most romances and scales down as the characters learn to love each other, faults and all.

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversation: What’s the biggest thing you need to improve?

04 Monday Jan 2021

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My confidence.

I have plenty of arguments with myself where I’m the most confident person I know. Until someone walks by and I shrink down because oh-no-they-might-have-heard-me-talking-to-myself.

I have no confidence. I code based on the people around me often, unless it’s someone I feel completely comfortable with, who has proven to be at least welcoming of who I am. It’s filters. Many, many filters.

The filters are awful. I want to be considered “unapologetically herself” and yet that’s never going to be something people say about me.

I’ve looked up information on how to do better socially and I’ve read that 1) I should smile more because it makes people feel welcome, it makes people think you’re trustworthy and worth knowing. And then I read that 2) people who smile when you meet them are fakers, they’re hiding their disregard for you behind the friendliness and those who only smile when they are truly happy are the ones to trust.

Well, fuck.

And that’s what I find all over the place, concerning even the smallest aspect of my life. So I’m left feeling like there’s nothing I can ever do to be confident because everything I do isn’t right.

Argh.

So I just have to BE confident and then it doesn’t matter if I smile or not because I AM confident.

But I have to BE confident first.

And if you’re not you have to fake it.

And in order to fake it, you have to smile.

Which brings me back round to where I started.

So the answer in how to GET confidence is just to BE confident, which is the most unhelpful advice in existence.

Excuse me while I attempt to be confident and sign my name to these words ;)

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversation: If you had to be handcuffed to someone for 24 hours, who would you want?

16 Monday Nov 2020

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Let’s be honest here: I chose this question because it instantly reminded me of the Trapped Together trope.

There’s a few common ones. There’s the stuck inside in a snowstorm and oh, we need to snuggle to keep warm. There’s also the prison/jail one. The stuck with one another during a zombie apocalypse. The deserted island one I’m kind of partial to.

There’s just something magical about it, isn’t there? Falling in love with someone in a whirlwind of never being able to leave their side.

Except, I’ve seen this show on Big Brother and there isn’t anything magical about having someone turning their back while you’re attempting to go to the bathroom while having performance anxiety. Especially if you have trouble with people hearing anything at all hit the toilet bowl. Lovely.

And what happens if you aren’t right and left handed, coincidentally? If you’ve both right handed and one of you loses their dominant hand for 24 hours?

I guess, if I had to choose, I would probably choose a baby. Sounds awful at first glance, but then at second glance, I can just lug the baby around, won’t get embarrassed about normal bodily functions and while it might be annoying, it wouldn’t be nearly as annoying as having to compromise.

Which makes this a horrible answer, doesn’t it? I’m basically admitting to wanting COMPLETE CONTROL (MHAHAHAHA) during that 24 hours.

If I couldn’t borrow someone’s baby for this endeavor, well then, I guess I’d pick my partner. I would probably end up watching a lot of YouTube I didn’t want to see. That and the potential of having to deal with a long, not very fun bathroom break, will likely be the worst of it. (As long as I get my right hand because otherwise sleeping on our own sides of the bed will be impossible.)

Guess there’s something to be said about being chained to someone you love :)

I also need to come up with more trapped together scenarios, because there must be more fun ones to play with.

~Emmi

Coffee & Conversation: Who have you lost touch with?

09 Monday Nov 2020

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When I first chose this question, I had the idea that the answer would revolve around all the people I’d known in high school or college. All those friends who ended up being circle-friends, ie, the friends you only have because you run in the same circles, chase the same goals, see each other daily. Those people who feel separated from your life as a whole despite being so much a part of your life.

And then, when that section of your life is over, when you graduate, move on, move away, change jobs and the circles change and change again, you find that you never really had those friends in the way you thought you had. They’d never really been there. They’d just be…there, in that physical location.

But then I got to thinking…

It’s been a few years since I last published anything. In that time, my presence on social media has become spotty. My writing has gotten out of sync with my life. I have attempted to put more and more on my plate as if more will somehow be better, when in actuality, more is just making life harder and me less efficient.

I know that the people who focus on one thing at a time are the people who succeed the most, the fastest, the easiest. And yet, despite knowing this, I struggle with it. Maybe it’s in the stars, that I’m to be forever jumping between projects, constantly getting interrupted. Maybe I’m just making poor decision after poor decision, getting further and further behind, feeling lost when I sign back into technology, to sites, to processes that I thought I’d known by heart.

So, in answer to the question, I guess the real answer, the answer that actually reflects the true crux of something meaningful, is me. I’ve lost touch with what I like, why I write, why I work so hard. I’ve lost touch with why I did this in the first place. Continue reading →